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Friday 20 December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I announced my pregnancy to my husband. He responded with, "Well shit, when do these faucets turn on?" and started honking my boobs. FML

#21006112
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39845) - you deserved it (5503)

On 12/26/2013 at 12:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my class was interrupted by flowers, balloons and chocolates. Then he sang to me a song he wrote himself. This was all for our one-year anniversary. It probably would have been the best day of my life... if I knew who he was. FML

#20997138
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47896) - you deserved it (3737)

On 12/18/2013 at 4:20pm - love - by romance sucks. (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to take a shower. When I turned it on, no water came out. Only ants. FML

#21006941
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56065) - you deserved it (3581)

On 12/27/2013 at 2:28am - misc - by anon - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I was taking a shower with my boyfriend. While we were washing our hair, he got soap in his eyes and mouth. I was facing him, and since his eyes were closed he didn't realize how close I was. When he spat the soap out, it went straight into my eyes. Neither of us could see. FML

#20994581
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43744) - you deserved it (6335)

On 12/16/2013 at 11:44am - misc - by abc123 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, she stopped moaning and told me to stop because she couldn't fake it anymore. FML

#21001045
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55666) - you deserved it (16006)

On 12/22/2013 at 3:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend said he was in love with my best friend instead of me. I wouldn't be so upset if it wasn't the third boyfriend in a row this happened with. FML

#20997702
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54069) - you deserved it (4664)

On 12/19/2013 at 1:13am - love - by hot_friend (woman) - United States

Today, I had to basically ground my own husband, after he tricked our 6-year-old son into getting his tongue stuck to a frozen pole. FML

#21000259
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43691) - you deserved it (4638)

On 12/21/2013 at 2:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden

Today, I went to a nativity play. My husband showed up late and drunk, and I had to explain to him why booming "Yeah! Time to get baby Jesus up in this shit!" when our son was about to go on stage got us kicked out. FML

#21001530
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40868) - you deserved it (4126)

On 12/22/2013 at 4:28pm - kids - by bastard (woman) - United States

Today, I pretended to cry in front of my cat because she doesn't cuddle with me anymore. Yeah, I tried to guilt-trip my cat into loving me. FML

#21003528
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42556) - you deserved it (11347)

On 12/24/2013 at 11:53am - animals - by PityKitty (woman) -

Today, I asked my lazy daughter to go make her bed. She responded by lighting our garbage bin on fire. FML

#21001381
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42010) - you deserved it (9758)

On 12/22/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Israel

Today, like every day since I was born, my name is Yarenis, pronounced "ja-ra-nees. For some reason, everybody pronounce it "your anus". FML

#21003362
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40419) - you deserved it (5553)

On 12/24/2013 at 5:45am - misc - by yarenis - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me during a funeral. FML

#20999827
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49231) - you deserved it (4292)

On 12/21/2013 at 1:26am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to wake me up by sprinkling catnip over me then dropping my cat on top of me. FML

#21007541
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39798) - you deserved it (3636)

On 12/27/2013 at 7:05pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)



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