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Saturday 7 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out my grandma wears dentures when I had to fish them out of a cooler. She lost them bobbing for beer at a local bar. FML

#20875421
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34088) - you deserved it (2307)

On 09/10/2013 at 3:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I locked my keys in my car. After looking for the spare key for hours, we called our insurance company, who then sent a "locksmith" with a wedge and a bar to open my car. All he did was break the driver and passenger doorhandles. My stuff is still inside. FML

#20864245
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39781) - you deserved it (3166)

On 09/02/2013 at 7:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that if I say "make a sandwich", it doesn't matter what context it's in, or whether it's a command or just me describing my day; I'll be yelled at anyway by my hipster roommate for being a "sexist cunt", then end up apologizing just to get her to shut up. FML

#20868968
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36380) - you deserved it (5193)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found out my grandfather died via Facebook, because apparently both my father and my aunt think posting a status about it immediately rather than calling family is the thing to do. FML

#20869986
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43554) - you deserved it (2497)

On 09/06/2013 at 8:10am - misc - by theblackrose23 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, who has frequent night terrors, also sleepwalks. And apparently sleep-pisses on the bathroom rug. FML

#20872688
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41695) - you deserved it (3196)

On 09/08/2013 at 9:07am - love - by laundry day again... - United States

Today, I bought $250 worth of groceries and was feeling rather good about myself because it's the first time I've been able to do so in months. When I returned home I found my fridge/freezer broken. Most of the food I bought was dairy or frozen. FML

#20875436
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45685) - you deserved it (3303)

On 09/10/2013 at 3:35am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and best friend decided to "help" by assembling my new front porch while I was away. Ecstatic, they displayed their handiwork. It's charming how the porch is precariously balanced, it leans in such a way that it appears it will fall over if you walk through the front door. FML

#20876742
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35717) - you deserved it (3088)

On 09/11/2013 at 4:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend invited me over for the first time. I pulled up to her house just to be denied at the front door by her mum. She'd invited me over to break up with me, but had her mum do it for her. FML

#20876765
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53546) - you deserved it (3401)

On 09/11/2013 at 5:30am - love - by AnonymousLoser (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I put scribbles, lines, shapes and random words on my calendar just to make it seem like I was busy. This isn't the first time. FML

#20867690
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29386) - you deserved it (8022)

On 09/04/2013 at 5:07pm - misc - by cherbear1000 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I took my driver's test. The woman administering it wouldn't even look at me, so trying to be friendly I said the first thing I could think of: "It must be scary getting in the car with someone you don't know!" She failed me for "excessive chatting." FML

#20867699
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39807) - you deserved it (4404)

On 09/04/2013 at 5:14pm - work - by UGGGH that was my 2nd attempt too (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was asked to dumb myself down so the people I was training could comprehend what I was saying. FML

#20868484
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36596) - you deserved it (6421)

On 09/05/2013 at 2:57am - work - by Retarded (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my car broke down. My dad insisted he could fix it, but screwed up in the process. After finally getting the car towed to a mechanic, I was told that I'd only needed a new water pump, but thanks to the damage my dad did, fixing it all will cost me a small fortune. FML

#20870135
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39518) - you deserved it (3384)

On 09/06/2013 at 12:10pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I got fired from my volunteer job. FML

#20879963
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39282) - you deserved it (9810)

On 09/13/2013 at 6:24pm - work - by Volunteer (woman) - United States (Indiana)



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