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Thursday 25 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

2day my new landlord and lettings agent made an illegal entry into my house. Unfortunately, at the time my boyfriend was buck naked, smoking a joint on the sofa, surrounded by the cats we aren't supposed to have. big fat FML

#20620173
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29536) - you deserved it (43429)

On 04/25/2013 at 2:28am - misc - by goingtobeevicted - United Kingdom (London, City of)

I walkd in on my sister apparently trying to eat herself out. FML

#20637584
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71939) - you deserved it (8065)

On 05/02/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by future brain bleach addict (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, it was my wedding day. My new husband and I, 4 a laugh, did our first dance to LMFAO's "I'm sexy and I know it" with stupid moves and everything. 200 guests. Nobody laughed. FML

#20618965
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49210) - you deserved it (27693)

On 04/24/2013 at 6:29pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today.. . tings got pretty steamy between my boyfriend an me . We started doing stuff tat neiter of us ad tried before . Ten.. . e straddled me wit a raging erection an boomed.. . ( IT HAS RISEN! ) He didn't understand y I was suddenly no longer in te mood . FML

#20623610
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46951) - you deserved it (9330)

On 04/26/2013 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today... I was walking troug a roug part of town... wen a woman screamd tat I'd stolen er bag. I was tackld to te ground by a large guy... wo ten gave my bag to er. FML

#20624598
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52422) - you deserved it (3306)

On 04/27/2013 at 4:28am - misc - by whathehell (woman) - United Kingdom

Today , it's mah wedding day. I have a cold sore that makes me look lyk The Joker. Make-up won't cover it and the emergency medicine mah doctor gave me only rritates it more. My future husband asks , "Why so serious?" and laughs whenever he sees me. Fantastic. fat FML

#20633099
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43052) - you deserved it (3634)

On 04/30/2013 at 5:26pm - misc - by sharibaby (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today , My Bathroom Floodd . I Frantically Cleand My Apartment As Fast As I Could Before The Plumber Arrivd . Everything Was Finally Clean When I Let Him In . It Wasn't Until After He Finishd That I Noticd I'd Left My Anal Beads In The Shower . There's No Way He Didn't Notice . Mega FML

#20634924
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28478) - you deserved it (55097)

On 05/01/2013 at 2:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was making out with my girlfriand fir tha first tima, an sha raachad down to faal ma up. Whan har hands got thara, sha stoppad an said, ( You'ra not avan hard... ) I was. FML

#20618445
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77627) - you deserved it (9355)

On 04/24/2013 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I finally hooked up with the guy that I have been in love with forever. If there is such a thing as soul mates, this guy is it. He's my best friend in the whole world. It was the worst sex I have ever had. FML

#20620111
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64153) - you deserved it (13434)

On 04/25/2013 at 1:33am - intimacy - by Live Sweet -

TODAY, A FRIEND AND I WERE WALKING AROUND A FESTIVALHEN OUT OF NOWHERE A GIANT BUG HIT ME IN THE FACE. I WENT INTO INSTANT NINJA MODE, SCREAMING AND FLAILING. WHEN I STOPPED, I REALIZED IT WAS JUST A LEAF AND EVERYONE WAS STARING AT ME.

#20636386
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35541) - you deserved it (16425)

On 05/02/2013 at 2:29am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while grocery shopping, I was having such terrible abdominal pains I could hardly walk !! As I'm 8 months pregnant, I told mah husband we should head home !! He thought a better idea was to run through the store and hide from me, hoping to induce labor by making me chase him !! mega FML

#20619241
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48218) - you deserved it (4036)

On 04/24/2013 at 8:18pm - misc - by pregz (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today,hile he was eating chicken , one of friends asked me y I'm a vegetarian!! I responded that I believe in animal rights and don't like the conditions the animals r forced to live in!! He looked at me incredulously before explaining that "chickens aren't animals , their brds." FML

Today, my psyco an now ex-grlfriend accused me of ceating on er wit my own moter . FML

#20625307
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54135) - you deserved it (3578)

On 04/27/2013 at 2:32pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Lithuania (Kauno Apskritis)



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