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Friday 22 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was talking to my boss and he said I was awesome. He went to fist bump me and I missed. FML

#20552081
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26500) - you deserved it (7792)

On 03/20/2013 at 10:31am - work - by missedfistbump - United States

Today, we had to re-live sex ed in my college biology class. Unlike in middle school, nobody giggled incessantly. However, the guy sitting next to me stared at me intensely for nearly the whole three hour lecture. FML

#20552364
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28785) - you deserved it (2673)

On 03/20/2013 at 3:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was walking by the side of the interstate because my car broke down. A nice young man stopped and asked if I was tired of walking. I said yes, to which he replied, "Try jogging asshole" then laughed and drove off. It was raining balls. FML

#20553491
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34130) - you deserved it (3090)

On 03/21/2013 at 9:31am - misc - by WetWalking - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw some pictures of my boyfriend drunkenly kissing his ex on Facebook. I asked him about it, and he reassured me the pictures were from months ago. Unfortunately for him, I happened to notice a small tattoo on his neck. The same tattoo I went with him just last week to get. FML

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend of seven years. He stared at me, then said "Yeah, okay then. I'm gonna watch TV now." He then turned on the TV and watched Top Gun. Not quite the response I was hoping for. FML

#20556604
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18658) - you deserved it (35073)

On 03/23/2013 at 3:00pm - love - by Jessica (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realized that I'm so lonely I can no longer whack off without bursting into tears and crying like a little bitch. FML

#20564779
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35726) - you deserved it (13688)

On 03/29/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized how badly medical education has ruined me when I couldn't enjoy erotic literature because of one subtle anatomy mistake the author made. FML

#20565229
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34130) - you deserved it (8096)

On 03/29/2013 at 10:19am - intimacy - by notagyno - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, my boyfriend informed me that from now on during sex, I have to be on top at all times, saying I need the exercise more than him. As offensive as this was, I was actually happy because he's crap on top. FML

#20549126
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42057) - you deserved it (7968)

On 03/18/2013 at 10:36am - intimacy - by Ann (woman) - United States

Today, I walked into an exam after having stayed up 20 straight hours studying. The professor looked at me and muttered, "Don't bother, I'm failing you either way." FML

#20552400
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36401) - you deserved it (3526)

On 03/20/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Tired (man) - United States

Today, my family and I were visiting an aunt. While helping my aunt to set the table, my sister remarked that from behind I look exactly like her. I reflexively blurted out "well fuck you too". Very awkward silence. FML

#20557009
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10558) - you deserved it (34069)

On 03/23/2013 at 8:38pm - misc - by Kjer (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I was at the pool when I saw a man eating the food I had ordered near my seat. I immediately ran up to him and asked him to stop stealing my food. I took the food away and threw it in the trash. Seconds later the attendant came out with my actual food. FML

#20562925
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8659) - you deserved it (64081)

On 03/27/2013 at 9:02pm - misc - by Hahamaster333 -

Today, I was yelled at by a customer because I wouldn't give her a new iPhone 5 for free to replace her broken Nokia, which she threw out the window in "blind rage". I felt awful having to thank her for calling. Sadly, this is a daily event. FML

#20559802
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28335) - you deserved it (2138)

On 03/25/2013 at 5:53pm - work - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Friesland)

Today, my cat learned the hard way what the bathtub is for. While I was in it. FML

#20560819
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29827) - you deserved it (3440)

On 03/26/2013 at 10:22am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)



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