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Friday 22 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, at a romantic dinner my boyfriend was treating me to, the waiter brought a "Will you marry me?" cake out with candles and sparklers. I probably should have checked that they'd brought it to the right table before dramatically screaming "Yes!" and jumping into my boyfriend's arms. They hadn't. FML

#20559787
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40518) - you deserved it (6955)

On 03/25/2013 at 5:45pm - love - by franky (woman) - Germany (Niedersachsen)

Today, I was violently throwing up due to severe morning sickness. My boyfriend looked at me, then turned and walked away. In the end, my daughter gave me some paper towel and her juice. My 18-month-old is more supportive of my pregnancy than her 30-year-old father. FML

#20562509
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38005) - you deserved it (5552)

On 03/27/2013 at 3:34pm - misc - by InfamousLastWord (woman) - United States

Today, I almost lost my virginity at the age of 34. After years of putting off sex and waiting for marriage, the moment arrived. My new wife could't stop laughing at how small I am. FML

#20562346
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71988) - you deserved it (10977)

On 03/27/2013 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my 2-year-old daughter and my 27-year-old husband both woke me up in the early hours of the morning. Their complaints were the same: they'd both wet the bed. FML

#20555313
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35809) - you deserved it (2758)

On 03/22/2013 at 5:53pm - misc - by sickness and health my sphincter (woman) - Singapore

Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML

#20555936
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35502) - you deserved it (8994)

On 03/23/2013 at 1:44am - love - by SierraDiaz2097 - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I nervously started a new job, and my co-workers were telling me silly rules about our boss. Later, I accidentally bumped into him, and blurted "Rule #7, don't touch George." He definitely heard. FML

#20564827
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16867) - you deserved it (33106)

On 03/29/2013 at 12:38am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, an attractive guy came up to me and told me that I looked sexy in a picture online. He then asked himself why he had never asked me out before. Apparently, he doesn't remember our 6-month relationship, or how it ended when he slept with my sister. FML

#20548927
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45420) - you deserved it (3295)

On 03/18/2013 at 4:28am - love - by mcds2 (woman) - United States

Today, I decided to turn my life around and start exercising more. I didn't even make it out the door before I tripped and fractured my ankle. FML

#20550992
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36623) - you deserved it (4284)

On 03/19/2013 at 3:35pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I learned that if not for my grandfather gifting my dad $200, I would have been named Anthrax. FML

#20552804
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31683) - you deserved it (2469)

On 03/20/2013 at 9:11pm - misc - by cheeseburglar_9000 (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I kissed my gorgeous new boyfriend for the first time. I ran my hands through his hair; a multitude of dandruff rained out and five lice crawled onto my hand. FML

#20554606
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50776) - you deserved it (6618)

On 03/22/2013 at 1:28am - love - by eww. (woman) - Australia

Today, I got dumped during sex. FML

#20563466
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69234) - you deserved it (9405)

On 03/28/2013 at 6:02am - intimacy - by Bigfatfailure (man) - United States (California)

Today, a man attempted to sue my business for giving him food poisoning. I make soap. When I called the cops on him for disturbing the peace, I was told, "Maybe next time you'll put 'not edible' on your label." FML

#20561443
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33219) - you deserved it (3417)

On 03/26/2013 at 8:10pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was walking my dog when he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. FML

#20558609
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10384) - you deserved it (88520) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/24/2013 at 7:01pm - animals - by BaliTheDog - France



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