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Saturday 16 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend of seven years. He stared at me, then said "Yeah, okay then. I'm gonna watch TV now." He then turned on the TV and watched Top Gun. Not quite the response I was hoping for. FML

#20556604
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19455) - you deserved it (36381)

On 03/23/2013 at 3:00pm - love - by Jessica (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I figured I needed to clean my room. I ended up finding my $135 calculator that I'd accused my ex-boyfriend of selling for gas money. That's also the reason I dumped him. FML

#20539612
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8980) - you deserved it (67295)

On 03/11/2013 at 2:56pm - money - by supertango500 (woman) - United States

Today, as always, I'm dating one of the few girls who, without fail, always finishes first when we get intimate. She's also one of those girlfriends who doesn't want to continue once she's done. FML

#20542189
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38024) - you deserved it (5021)

On 03/13/2013 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by WhyDoINeedAName - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML

#20543433
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44318) - you deserved it (9021)

On 03/14/2013 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, my boyfriend informed me that from now on during sex, I have to be on top at all times, saying I need the exercise more than him. As offensive as this was, I was actually happy because he's crap on top. FML

#20549126
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42326) - you deserved it (7987)

On 03/18/2013 at 10:36am - intimacy - by Ann (woman) - United States

Today, I walked into an exam after having stayed up 20 straight hours studying. The professor looked at me and muttered, "Don't bother, I'm failing you either way." FML

#20552400
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36555) - you deserved it (3536)

On 03/20/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Tired (man) - United States

Today, my family and I were visiting an aunt. While helping my aunt to set the table, my sister remarked that from behind I look exactly like her. I reflexively blurted out "well fuck you too". Very awkward silence. FML

#20557009
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10605) - you deserved it (34157)

On 03/23/2013 at 8:38pm - misc - by Kjer (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I found out why the parents whose children I babysit use me so often and on such short notice. It's not because they have abrupt nights out; it's because their kids hate me, and me being around is their way of punishing them. FML

#20541928
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31525) - you deserved it (3167)

On 03/13/2013 at 10:41am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that the lump in my wrist that keeps getting inflamed and sore is caused by sketching and using my laptop too much. Good thing I'm in my fourth year of studying to become a designer. FML

#20546879
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28071) - you deserved it (2466)

On 03/16/2013 at 11:08pm - health - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a serious argument and he stormed out of the house mad. Why? I wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of his knob. FML

#20553362
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36819) - you deserved it (15912)

On 03/21/2013 at 6:01am - intimacy - by meeee (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I said yes. This caused him to panic, excuse himself, then take it back via text message a half hour later, claiming he'd been drunk. We live together. When he comes back home, it's going to be very awkward indeed. FML

#20541052
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35791) - you deserved it (2587)

On 03/12/2013 at 6:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my prom dress finally arrived. My prom was yesterday. FML

#20544424
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48243) - you deserved it (6462)

On 03/15/2013 at 3:09am - misc - by ipaid350dollarsfornothing - Qatar

Today, I advised my daughter to not drink a Coke before bed. She smiled at me and reassured me that it could be balanced out with sleeping pills. I'm raising a future drug addict. FML

#20547328
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30367) - you deserved it (6511)

On 03/17/2013 at 6:25am - kids - by hejdixjeln - United States (Illinois)



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