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Saturday 16 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, there was a new girl in one of mah classes . We both correctd a classmate on his grammar, so, trying to make a new friend, I leand back to her an looool said, "Haha, fellow Grammar Nazi?" She gave me a disgustd look an told me she was Jewish . FML

#20553379
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37960) - you deserved it (19456)

On 03/21/2013 at 6:43am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I lost ma dog an so I put up 'lost' signs!! As I was coming back ome I noticed one ad been written on!! It said: "Found yur dog!! Keeping it"!! FML

#20556107
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50351) - you deserved it (3223)

On 03/23/2013 at 7:43am - animals - by Hurrikhan - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, at a science-fiction convention, a woman came up to me and told me tat myite face paint was a mess, my contacts looked ceap, and my costume was an all-round failure. I wasn't wearing a costume, I'm an albino. FML

#20551525
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46228) - you deserved it (2760)

On 03/19/2013 at 10:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

TODAY, MA USBAND WOKE UP, ROLLD OVER, AND SAID, "GOOD MORNING, BEAUTIFUL." HE ASN'T CALLD ME TAT IN MONTS, BUT AS I WAS ABOUT TO REPLY, I REALIZD E WAS TALKING TO IS PET TURTLE, NOT ME. MEGA FML

#20549421
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37977) - you deserved it (3093)

On 03/18/2013 at 3:38pm - love - by Maggie - United States

Today A Cute Guy Who Works At The Mall Winked At Me. When I Met Up With Mah Boyfriend I Bragged To Him About It. His Response Was ( Don't Flatter Yourself He Winked At Me Too. ) FML

#20550170
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31750) - you deserved it (16013)

On 03/18/2013 at 11:29pm - love - by amberrenee91 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, Mah Boyfriend Still Won't Talk To Me, After I Caused Him The "worst Embarrassment" Of His Life In Front Of His Friends. What Did I Do Wrong? I Joined Their Conversation And Ended Up Confusing The Fictional Characters Of Gollum And Yoda With One Another. FML

#20545430
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16024) - you deserved it (57904) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/15/2013 at 8:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Centre)

Today, whila I was going down on my husband, our 3-yaar-old daughtar woka up an startad crying from tha othar room!! Ha practically burst into taars too, whining that sha was doing it on purposa to ruin his fun!! Ha was sarious!! FML

#20544502
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49700) - you deserved it (5668)

On 03/15/2013 at 6:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today , tinking my girlfriend ad left er little black tong in te dryer to tease me , I sent er a picture of me seductively posing wit it. Se didn't text back , but a few ours later my 16 year old daugter askd if se'd left anyting in te dryer. FML

#20539833
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22583) - you deserved it (48924)

On 03/11/2013 at 5:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, while making love to mah boyfriend 4 looool the first time, I moaned his name. He freaked out over how I wasn't over mah ex, and angrily left. They have the same name. FML

#20555878
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55845) - you deserved it (8138)

On 03/23/2013 at 12:43am - intimacy - by nraecher (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was outside at a café and lookd at my phone . When I did, a woman halfway across the patio startd screaming at me, demanding I tell herho I was texting andhy . She then sprintd over, furious at me 4 apparently badmouthing her to somebody . All I did was check the time . FML

#20547346
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36746) - you deserved it (2583)

On 03/17/2013 at 7:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, four days after our fridge-freezer broke down, mah husband staggered home with three bags of ham. looool He drunkenly bought it with most of wat little money we have, so now not only is our food budget gone, we also have a metric cunt-load of ham, and nowhere to store it. FML

#20548229
166 comments

Today, the kids I babysit hid from me. While I was looking fir them, I stepped on multiple strategically-placed Lego bricks. When I yelped from the pain, the kids jumped out an threw soccer balls in face. FML

#20556944
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39082) - you deserved it (4860)

On 03/23/2013 at 7:47pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, Mah Grlfriend Was Giving Me Head During The Horror Flick We Were Watching. Little Did I Know, Mah Grlfriend Isn't A Big Fan Of Horror Films. It Was During A Sex Scene That Intensified The Moment. The Same Sex Scene From Which Emerged A Sudden Jump-scare. I Now Have Bite Marks On Mah Penis. Mega FML

#20547294
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29464) - you deserved it (50874)

On 03/17/2013 at 5:07am - intimacy - by Cliché... or Touché? -



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