Saturday 16 March 2013 
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Today, I tossed half a sausage to a dog sitting beside a park bench. It wasn't until he lunged for it and dragged the man beside him off of the bench that I realized it was a seeing eye dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24675) - you deserved it (19914)
On 03/20/2013 at 7:53pm - animals - by SolaceInRage (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my grandson visited me, and asked if I had any pictures of myself from when I was a little girl. I happily looked for a few photos to give him, asking what had piqued his curiosity. He replied that he wanted some for a presentation he's doing on the Middle Ages. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27217) - you deserved it (1755) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 03/22/2013 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Lorraine)
Today, I walked into the room naked while my wife was on the computer to surprise her. She smiled, put down her laptop and left for the bathroom so I started jerking it in anticipation. It was really feeling good until my wife's best friend, who was on Skype, started giggling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37210) - you deserved it (14782)
On 03/19/2013 at 8:31am - intimacy - by fredo (man) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I went out to a restaurant to meet a girl that I met online. When I arrived I texted her and she said she she was wearing a blue shirt. The only person that was wearing anything blue was a fat man smiling in the corner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31505) - you deserved it (7161)
On 03/20/2013 at 5:16pm - misc - by bobthenun - United States (California)
Today, my psycho abstinence-only sex ed teacher claimed condoms give 50% protection at most against pregnancy. I couldn't help but correct her. She apologized for her "mistake", saying, "It's just that we're not ALL sluts, Kara." Now everyone thinks I'm a raging whore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34688) - you deserved it (5201)
On 03/22/2013 at 8:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I picked up my new car. The dealer offered to connect my iPhone to the Bluetooth system for me. Once connected it automatically started playing the audiobook I had been listening to over the stereo system. Right on a passage which had an extremely graphic description of anal sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22867) - you deserved it (15101)
On 03/14/2013 at 3:19am - misc - by WildaRora (woman) - Australia
Today, I was dancing with an incredibly sexy man at a club. He was grinding on me when he leaned over and said, "If I was straight, I would make you my queen." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31869) - you deserved it (3942)
On 03/17/2013 at 8:10pm - love - by noooooooo (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, there was a new girl in one of my classes. We both corrected a classmate on his grammar, so, trying to make a new friend, I leaned back to her and said, "Haha, fellow Grammar Nazi?" She gave me a disgusted look and told me she was Jewish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32241) - you deserved it (14642)
On 03/21/2013 at 6:43am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I found out my mom thought I was a lesbian because I dated a girl in high school. I didn't date anyone in high school. Apparently, guys never asked me out because my best friend told everyone that I was her girlfriend. I had a two-year lesbian relationship that I never knew about. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39224) - you deserved it (1932)
On 03/21/2013 at 8:35pm - love - by SmallAngel (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, while working in childcare, we went to a farm so the kids could see how things worked. They started showing off prize winning cattle and when they bought out "Miss Stacey", the kids lost their shit. My name is Miss Stacey. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26597) - you deserved it (1909)
On 03/19/2013 at 1:00am - work - by seriously! - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my boyfriend got angry and threatened to dump me, all because I wouldn't give in to his demands not to go to a birthday sleepover with my friends. He seriously thinks it's going to turn into some kind of lesbian orgy and that I'll cheat on him. Thanks, PornHub. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39562) - you deserved it (8839)
On 03/14/2013 at 11:43am - intimacy - by wow (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I finally got to meet my boyfriend's parents; it turns out that his mum is my therapist. I've just spent an entire morning telling her how confused I am about my sexuality. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39424) - you deserved it (4427)
On 03/21/2013 at 6:25am - misc - by me (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)
Today, I met my mom's fiancé. He's a nice guy, he's also my wife's dad. I'll soon call my wife my sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40294) - you deserved it (1997)
On 03/15/2013 at 1:31am - misc - by guy - Canada (British Columbia)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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