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Saturday 9 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend ripped my panties trying to get them off. Not off me, off himself. FML

#20530380
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46400) - you deserved it (5928)

On 03/04/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by nopanties (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, when I got home, my child had three bruises. My babysitter's excuse? "She hit me first". FML

#20538066
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51879) - you deserved it (6353)

On 03/10/2013 at 12:08pm - kids - by Amanda - Canada

Today, my grandma gave me a sex talk. Not the usual one, either. This one was about blowjobs. I had to sit politely as she explained it's something all women have to learn if they want a well-behaved husband, but that it's an "acquired taste". Gag me. FML

#20545240
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46956) - you deserved it (5716)

On 03/15/2013 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by butnotlikethat (woman) - China (Jiangxi)

Today, while working, I thought, "I wish my kittens could text so I can talk to them throughout the day." And then I realized, I'm that cat lady you read about. FML

#20532138
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33885) - you deserved it (13079)

On 03/05/2013 at 11:13am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I was helping my father-in-law out at a family barbecue. Somehow, the topic turned to grand-children, at which point I confessed that my wife has been having trouble conceiving. His response was to boom: "Sure you've been putting it in the right hole, son?!" FML

#20541069
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37286) - you deserved it (4748)

On 03/12/2013 at 6:43pm - kids - by um... maybe (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend got angry and threatened to dump me, all because I wouldn't give in to his demands not to go to a birthday sleepover with my friends. He seriously thinks it's going to turn into some kind of lesbian orgy and that I'll cheat on him. Thanks, PornHub. FML

#20543365
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54114) - you deserved it (6897)

On 03/14/2013 at 11:43am - intimacy - by wow (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend drove me back home. My dad was sitting on the porch in his underwear, with his shotgun in his lap. He stroked the gun, looked my boyfriend dead in the eyes, and slowly shook his head. Now my boyfriend refuses to see me for his own safety. FML

#20538482
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37579) - you deserved it (4124)

On 03/10/2013 at 6:37pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after my 5-year-old finally got over his grandmother's death, we went to a store and saw a lady that looked exactly like her. She came up to us asking if we saw her grandson; I can't get my son to stop freaking out. FML

#20535134
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39770) - you deserved it (2392)

On 03/07/2013 at 8:55pm - kids - by Maxie - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to help my little sister do a first-grade project for school. For one part, they have to draw a picture of their role model. She drew a whale, and I asked, "A whale is your role model?" She laughed and said, "No! It's you!" FML

#20532338
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38108) - you deserved it (5695)

On 03/05/2013 at 3:19pm - kids - by peace out - United States (South Carolina)

Today, while working at Starbucks, a man came in and placed his order. I made his drink, topped it with whipped cream, and put the lid on. Some cream was seeping out of the top. He looked at me and said, "Good... you left a nipple..." and slowly licked it off. FML

#20536585
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32090) - you deserved it (3436)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:06am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while I was going down on my husband, our 3-year-old daughter woke up and started crying from the other room. He practically burst into tears too, whining that she was doing it on purpose to ruin his fun. He was serious. FML

#20544502
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52033) - you deserved it (5893)

On 03/15/2013 at 6:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my boyfriend told me I was selfish for "choosing" to start my period on his day off from work. FML

#20531170
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53006) - you deserved it (6258)

On 03/04/2013 at 6:03pm - intimacy - by Thankshun (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend left me for a girl I know. She was the girl my last boyfriend left me for. FML

#20536593
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50556) - you deserved it (3563)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:16am - love - by itsnotyouitsher - Australia (New South Wales)



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