Sunday 3 March 2013 
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Today, I was awkwardly taking a dump at work, when a coworker in another stall started talking shit to me about our boss. I grunted and agreed, hoping he'd shut up and leave me alone. That's when a third guy sarcastically chimed in with insults from a third stall. It was our boss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24848) - you deserved it (7395)
On 03/03/2013 at 1:03pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Bayern)
Today, I parked next to a police officer's car in a bad part of town. When I got out, I saw a bag of pot on the ground between the cop's car and mine. When I pointed it out to him, he insisted it was mine and interrogated me to the point of tears. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30636) - you deserved it (3893)
On 03/05/2013 at 12:08am - misc - by goodgrief (woman) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, my 20-year-old came whining to me, asking why his job interviews keep going so poorly. I had to delicately explain that the "PIMP SLAP" tattoo he had put on his right hand recently may have something to do with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23258) - you deserved it (2723)
On 03/06/2013 at 1:04pm - kids - by ProudMother (woman) - United Kingdom (Telford and Wrekin)
Today, my step-mom stole over $100 in cash from me, dumped dirty cat litter all over my clean bed sheets, and called me a whore for having a polite conversation with my boyfriend. I confronted my father about it. He told me to forgive her, because she's "on her period." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32459) - you deserved it (1453)
On 03/06/2013 at 2:11pm - misc - by disgruntled stepdaughter - United States (Ohio)
Today, I woke up to discover that the guy I hooked up with last night did indeed have a mullet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11283) - you deserved it (39189)
On 03/08/2013 at 1:01am - intimacy - by WeHitTurbulence (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, while having sex with my husband, he went soft. When I asked him what happened he said, "I'm about to fall asleep." He then plopped down on my chest and began to snore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30300) - you deserved it (3288)
On 03/09/2013 at 3:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my husband was arrested for having sex in public. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38829) - you deserved it (3896)
On 03/10/2013 at 2:50pm - love - by ifhehadadickforaheaditdbefuckingsmall (woman) - Cyprus (Nicosia)
Today, I'm 8 months pregnant with a horribly sore back and an insensitive husband. I'm so desperate for relief that I'm lying on the couch, using my vibrator to give myself a back massage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27677) - you deserved it (3039)
On 02/26/2013 at 2:11pm - misc - by guyssuck (woman) - Canada (Northwest Territories)
Today, my boss gave me the task of firing a recently-hired coworker next Friday. This guy spends most of his off-hours working out, probably abusing the fuck out of steroids, and to whom prison is like a bed-and-breakfast. I fear for my life by this point. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22272) - you deserved it (1535)
On 03/01/2013 at 1:22pm - work - by cthulhu help me (man) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, my brother called me, asking if I could help him do his taxes. Since he's a high school and college dropout, I thought all I had to do was a 1040EZ. No, last year he made more than twice what I earn, through self-employment. I have two Master's degrees and work at Burger King. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27382) - you deserved it (5893)
On 03/01/2013 at 9:35pm - misc - by tax-man - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes, and I excitedly called my mother to tell her about our engagement. She half-heartedly said, "Aww, that's nice", before changing the topic to what she'd found in her turd earlier. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26145) - you deserved it (1514)
On 03/07/2013 at 12:10pm - love - by it's shitty, yeah, stfu (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)
Today, I bought a textbook for my college class. Not only is the £150 book only sold by our teacher, it turned out to be a piece of shit that he obviously wrote, printed, and stapled together at home. When I went to the faculty about it, I was told it's all perfectly legal, and to drop it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24973) - you deserved it (1601)
On 03/08/2013 at 1:44pm - money - by defrauded (woman) - United Kingdom (Argyll and Bute)
Today, my boyfriend's daughter asked me what would happen if she chose to stop urinating for two weeks. She wanted to know whether it would kill her or just start coming out of her mouth. She's 17-years old, and was deadly serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27114) - you deserved it (1851)
On 03/08/2013 at 8:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Argentina (Distrito Federal)
Monday 20 May 2013
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