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Sunday 3 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I'm so broke after paying my bills, that I resorted to eating plain garlic butter from the pizzeria down the street for lunch. The worst part: to get the butter, I stormed in and angrily complained, saying they forgot to give it to me. I never even ordered a pizza. FML

#20537238
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36073) - you deserved it (8684)

On 03/09/2013 at 6:03pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I had to sneak out of work early to pick my 14-year-old son up from school. He and a friend had been found covered in Astroglide, racing each other down the corridor on their bellies. My boss noticed my absence from work, and now my son and I are both on suspension. FML

#20526049
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27409) - you deserved it (8787)

On 02/28/2013 at 7:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, as I was about to open a door at school, a student opened it and hit me. As I recovered and was about to open it again, someone else opened the door, hitting me again. Everyone laughed. FML

#20527903
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32984) - you deserved it (3438)

On 03/02/2013 at 9:09am - misc - by Doors Hate Me - United States

Today, I'm 5 months pregnant. My 20-year-old boyfriend still refuses to tell his parents because he thinks he'll get in trouble. He thinks we can get away with "never telling them and just hiding the kid." FML

#20536957
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39759) - you deserved it (9224)

On 03/09/2013 at 12:42pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Pakistan

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, because he didn't trust himself not to cheat on me. What? FML

#20526676
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36382) - you deserved it (3727)

On 03/01/2013 at 7:02am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I walked into what I thought would be a surprise birthday party. It wasn't. It was my parents staging an intervention over my cat obsession. FML

#20530955
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16040) - you deserved it (26390)

On 03/04/2013 at 3:02pm - misc - by DM - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my 20-year-old came whining to me, asking why his job interviews keep going so poorly. I had to delicately explain that the "PIMP SLAP" tattoo he had put on his right hand recently may have something to do with it. FML

#20533491
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29902) - you deserved it (4093)

On 03/06/2013 at 1:04pm - kids - by ProudMother (woman) - United Kingdom (Telford and Wrekin)

Today, I sent a dozen roses and a hand-written, heart-felt note to my ex-girlfriend to show her that I'm still madly in love with her. When I asked if she got the flowers I sent, she replied, "Yeah but you got the wrong color. You should've gotten yellow, that stands for friendship." FML

#20534297
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33199) - you deserved it (12015)

On 03/07/2013 at 1:07am - love - by Roses are Red - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my elderly neighbor had asked me to take her to her early morning doctor's appointment. I arrived at her house at 7:30 as agreed, and she appeared to have forgotten who I was. She started lobbing eggs out of her window at me, telling me she wasn't interested in what I was selling. FML

#20525434
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29769) - you deserved it (2216)

On 02/28/2013 at 6:57am - misc - by she sure has an arm. - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML

#20526083
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36971) - you deserved it (10693)

On 02/28/2013 at 7:48pm - misc - by useless pos (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was told by co-workers with whom I have worked for 2 years that I tan too much and dye my hair black too often. I'm from the Middle East and have never tanned nor dyed my hair. My co-workers think I'm a wannabe. FML

#20529072
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35142) - you deserved it (2432)

On 03/03/2013 at 4:29am - misc - by wannadi (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was walking to my professor's office. I've had an upset stomach all week, and I still felt a little gassy, so I politely decided to pass gass before entering the room. More than just gas came out. FML

Today, instead of actually teaching us something, our college professor excitedly showed us the godawful Harlem Shake video he made with his friends. FML

#20533295
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30703) - you deserved it (4448)

On 03/06/2013 at 6:51am - work - by Will this stupid fad ever end? (man) - United States



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