Wednesday 27 February 2013 
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Today, my college started an internet "confessions" page. Out of curiosity I checked it out, only to find that it's full of some of the most disturbing stuff I've ever read. My schoolmates are either filthy as fuck or they are all pathological liars. Wonderful. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23652) - you deserved it (2493)
On 02/27/2013 at 2:17am - intimacy - by panicelement (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I texted my boyfriend a cute picture that I drew for him, with a little note saying "love you." He replied by sending me a picture of a nose hair he'd plucked, along with the caption, "longest one yet." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21712) - you deserved it (2762)
On 03/01/2013 at 12:21am - love - by thenewgirl29 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I told my mom that I heard something, and I think we have rats in the attic and should hire an exterminator. She looked at me and said, "Rats, huh? That's what the mom in The Exorcist thought, but it turned out to be the devil living up there." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25328) - you deserved it (2072)
On 03/02/2013 at 11:18pm - misc - by jkbeynon - United States (California)
Today, I found out my girlfriend can do Heath Ledger's "Joker" voice perfectly. I'm not sure if I should be scared or impressed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24107) - you deserved it (4150)
On 03/03/2013 at 11:05am - love - by nerdgirlmickey (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was being interviewed for an amazing job when I was asked what animal I would describe myself as. Trying to be prompt, I picked the first thing that came to me. I responded with, "I'd be a turtle because I'm really slow sometimes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18798) - you deserved it (11674)
On 03/04/2013 at 7:43pm - work - by seriously (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I finally made a Facebook account after being home-schooled my entire life. I friended people that I know and their friends, and subsequently sparked a debate on whether or not I exist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21896) - you deserved it (2539)
On 02/27/2013 at 12:03am - misc - by thepokemonkid - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my boyfriend told me I was selfish for "choosing" to start my period on his day off from work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40478) - you deserved it (3920)
On 03/04/2013 at 6:03pm - intimacy - by Thankshun (woman) - United States
Today, I got talking to a pretty girl on the subway. Just as she was about to get off, I handed her my phone so that she could give me her number. She ran out with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12545) - you deserved it (32021) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 02/26/2013 at 12:02am - love - by crétin-crédule - France (Limousin)
Today, a wasp knocked me out, broke my glasses, and left a gash over my eyebrow. It did so by flying under my glasses while I was playing my guitar, causing me to reflexively bat at it with the hand that was still grasping the guitar neck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19484) - you deserved it (4791) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 02/28/2013 at 8:55pm - health - by JimiHendrix (man) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)
Today, on the way home, a guy yelled "Hey, YOU!" from behind me, so I walked faster. He ran up to me, shouting, "I said stop, asshole!" I almost pissed myself in fear, thinking I was being mugged. Turns out I'd left my wallet at the grocery store, and he was just trying to return it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15788) - you deserved it (28857)
On 03/02/2013 at 4:44pm - money - by stabbed with kindness (man) - Russian Federation (Moskva)
Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend asked me, "Are you sure you're a guy?" I still have no idea what that was for. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35840) - you deserved it (4837)
On 03/03/2013 at 7:17am - intimacy - by Ihatemylife (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)
Today, wanting to impress my date, I bullshitted her about how I was an environmental scientist. She got so impressed that she invited me over to her place. Not her home, her office. So that I could give her pointers on her current project. She's a real environmental scientist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6909) - you deserved it (51123)
On 03/05/2013 at 3:48am - work - by is there a environmental scientist in the house? - United States (California)
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. I also found out that her sister is an MMA fighter. She put me in an extremely strong chokehold until I took the break-up back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31051) - you deserved it (4469)
On 03/03/2013 at 11:47pm - love - by she also gave me a wedgie (man) - United States (California)
Friday 24 May 2013
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