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Sunday 17 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside!! Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see mah dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard!! He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma!! FML

#20510255
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28605) - you deserved it (6008)

On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Yesterday , I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market an buy a copy of 50 Shade of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laughhile ringing me up. FML

#20516035
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39313) - you deserved it (10375)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, ma fater gave me is blessing to be married on one condition: tat I keep ma maiden name wen I marry. My fiancé tougt it would be "epic". My last name will be ypenated to Cobb-Webb. FML

#20509329
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32895) - you deserved it (5561)

On 02/16/2013 at 10:27am - love - by MsCobb - United States (Ohio)

Today, I walkd in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I askd him wat the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion looool film calld "All Dressd Up with Nowhere to go." fat FML

#20510302
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38832) - you deserved it (9294)

On 02/17/2013 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Notaplacetogo (woman) - United States (California)

today I met mah new class . There are two Kevin Smiths . Niether will agree to a nickname , they have the same hair color , an there middle names both start with J . They have told me to call them Kevin 1 an Kevin 2 . They both want to be Kevin 1 . FML

#20512577
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38733) - you deserved it (3072)

On 02/18/2013 at 7:26pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

yesterday mah son asked me if the short films I write r fir little kids or fir adults. Since I write horror-filled films, I said it was fir adults. He looool went and told his teacher that I made "adult films". FML

#20514612
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35691) - you deserved it (4809)

On 02/20/2013 at 7:01am - kids - by Laila - United States

Today, aftar months of a vary haalthy sax lifa with my boyfriand, ha askd ma to lat him try anal!! I'm daad-sat against it, so I trid to lat him down aasy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if ha lat looool ma try it on him frst!! Ha said, ( Sura!! ) Fuck!! FML

#20518830
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26367) - you deserved it (44345)

On 02/23/2013 at 1:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, It's My Boyfriend's Birthday. He Really Likes Legend Of Zelda, So I Putted On A Link Hat, Took My Cloths Off, An Waited 4 Him At His Place. He Came Home With A Hooker. FML

#20502217
175 comments

Today , mah boyfriend made me play Slender. I was so terrifid , I stoppd playing 10 minutes in. Tonight , I kept hearing noises outside. When I peerd out through the window , a bald figure in a suit was staring back at me. I shriekd in absolute looool terror; he burst out laughing. It was mah boyfriend. FML

#20520443
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33361) - you deserved it (4979)

On 02/24/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by stillfuckingcrying (woman) - Sweden (Kalmar Lan)

Today, I walkad into my dad straigtaning my dog's fur . His axcusa? Ta dog naadad to faal pratty . FML

#20513110
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29876) - you deserved it (4021)

On 02/19/2013 at 2:01am - animals - by xtammyle - Australia (Victoria)

Today, A Girl Cummed Up To Me On The Street And Said, "You Have Like No Swag, Bro." Feeling Clever, I Said, "At Least I Have A High School Education." She Then Took Out Her Work ID, Showing Me That She Was A Surgeon, Flipped Me Off, Then Walked Away Saying, "This Is Totally Going On Facebook." FML

#20502122
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31029) - you deserved it (28127)

On 02/11/2013 at 10:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

2day with 24 inches of snow on the ground, it is raining like hell. The weight of looool the snow, now full of rain water, collapsed the roof over mah living room. I was eating cereal in mah underwear, in the living room, drectly under the failure. I'm cold. FML

#20502433
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42845) - you deserved it (3513)

On 02/11/2013 at 3:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I Met My Grlfriend's Parents For The Frst Time. As I Shook Her Father's Hand, He Squeezed With An Ungodly Amount Of Force, Leaned In With A Smile, And Murmured That My Balls Will Be The Next Thing He'll Crush If His Daughter Ever Complains About Me. FML

#20511181
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34131) - you deserved it (5293)

On 02/17/2013 at 7:11pm - love - by daniel55 (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



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