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Saturday 16 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while I was in the shower, my boyfriend decided to join me. We were really getting into it and he attempted to lift me up. Not only did I let out a massive fart, he slipped and fell on top of me. He won't stop laughing. FML

#20513159
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42978) - you deserved it (9378)

On 02/19/2013 at 3:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I walked into my near pitch-black bathroom and saw a person staring back at me. I woke my whole family up with my screams. The person was my reflection. FML

#20517081
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12139) - you deserved it (30737)

On 02/22/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by shelbylove115 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had my girlfriend over for dinner with my family. My father had dressed up as a girl for a recent gig of his at a local pub. This got somehow brought up at the table. The rest of the dinner conversation consisted of him and my girlfriend discussing bras and lingerie. FML

#20503190
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27732) - you deserved it (3199)

On 02/12/2013 at 12:55am - love - by BadLuckCarson - United States (Iowa)

Today, I stayed in a hotel near the college I was applying for a scholarship. We were eating breakfast and there were some other applicants in the breakfast room. As we walked away, my mother yelled, "My daughter's gonna get this scholarship so there's no reason for you muddafuckas to show up." FML

#20511941
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36192) - you deserved it (3190)

On 02/18/2013 at 9:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's grandmother's house meeting her for the first time. I excused myself to the restroom and as I walked out of the room I heard her say, "You could do a lot better. She's fat." Then I heard my boyfriend reply, "I know." FML

#20511747
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45051) - you deserved it (4997)

On 02/18/2013 at 2:09am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, as my lame excuse to not give a guy I met at a club my phone number, I told him I didn't have a cell phone. Guess what I checked when he asked me what time it was a few minutes later. FML

#20512812
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7587) - you deserved it (48559)

On 02/18/2013 at 10:21pm - misc - by hhhhhhhpeterwut - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was at a club when a notoriously desperate and disgusting guy asked me to grind with him. Hoping for some backup, I coolly said, "You'll have to ask my boyfriend." My boyfriend's response? "Yeah, man, I don't care." FML

#20513337
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33274) - you deserved it (7658)

On 02/19/2013 at 10:27am - misc - by really (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML

#20518354
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30312) - you deserved it (2973)

On 02/23/2013 at 1:28am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, two days before I'm due to fly out to Russia on my first vacation, I caught my extremely over-protective mother trying to force the family dog to eat my passport. FML

#20518765
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31039) - you deserved it (1953)

On 02/23/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Latvia (Aluksnes)

Today, whilst on a phone interview with a college I really want to go to, my mother picks up the other line and shouts into the phone "She's not going to college, she's lazy and she'll only disappoint you." The interviewer hung up before I could say anything. FML

#20508072
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38463) - you deserved it (2553)

On 02/15/2013 at 10:50am - misc - by parentalissues (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he found out my birthday is the same day as his, and he thinks we are twins who were separated at birth. FML

#20505216
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39930) - you deserved it (3066)

On 02/13/2013 at 5:09pm - love - by okay then (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was hanging out with the guy I really like. I lifted my arms to put my hair in a ponytail when he noticed a hole that had apparently tore in the armpit of my shirt, so he put his finger through it. I haven't shaved in weeks. FML

#20513075
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17149) - you deserved it (50353)

On 02/19/2013 at 1:19am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was walking with my friend. The girl in front of us had a really nice ass, so I turned to my friend and said, "Damn, she has a perfect ass." He replied, "That's a guy." FML

#20502853
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10385) - you deserved it (34169)

On 02/11/2013 at 9:30pm - misc - by notgay (man) - United States (New York)



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