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Tuesday 12 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I realized that without my birth control pills, I would have no idea what day it is. FML

#20507998
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21538) - you deserved it (14431)

On 02/15/2013 at 8:57am - health - by PurpleSloth (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML

#20512214
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10899) - you deserved it (35328)

On 02/18/2013 at 2:11pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I purchased a box of girl scout cookies from a coworker. I wanted to save them for later at home, so I placed them on my desk and then headed to a meeting. When I returned, there was an empty box sitting there with a post-it note saying, "Thanks!" Nobody will own up to it. FML

#20512675
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25284) - you deserved it (5761)

On 02/18/2013 at 8:49pm - work - by erockinthesuburb (man) - United States

Today, my needle-phobic mother took me to get a shot. She fainted. FML

#20503278
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22454) - you deserved it (2565)

On 02/12/2013 at 2:41am - health - by shots shots shots (woman) - United States (California)

Today, working as a waitress, I was asked by a customer, yet again, how my baby was doing. I don't have a baby, but I do look very similar to my 25-year-old coworker, who's a new mom. People confuse us all the time. Unfortunately, my crush, who was standing nearby, doesn't know that. FML

#20504501
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28006) - you deserved it (2329)

On 02/13/2013 at 12:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I both developed food poisoning from last night's sushi. Our apartment has one bathroom. FML

#20503655
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27146) - you deserved it (2874)

On 02/12/2013 at 1:43pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I tried to give some change to a homeless man. My girlfriend pulled me away and ranted about how homeless people are all basically bastards who deserve their misfortune, and that I shouldn't give "our" money away. FML

#20506599
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28228) - you deserved it (5390)

On 02/14/2013 at 3:06pm - money - by dating a fucking psycho (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my mum got the idea of switching to a different dishwashing detergent. The new one is so strong that it coats all the dishes in a nauseating perfume-like smell. It's so pungent that it gets absorbed into everything we eat or drink. She's determined to use up the entire bottle. FML

#20508218
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24170) - you deserved it (1919)

On 02/15/2013 at 1:50pm - health - by selena5112 (woman) - Norway (Troms)

Today, I got a new roommate after having a horrible relationship with the previous one. She seemed nice at first, until our first night together. She got completely wasted, spilled beer all over my bed and blew chunks into my fish tank. FML

#20513351
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28344) - you deserved it (2589)

On 02/19/2013 at 10:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I unknowingly bought a house next to a former toxic waste dump. I found out by reading an article in the paper where residents are claiming that they are experiencing cancer and birth defects. FML

#20503049
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28618) - you deserved it (6510)

On 02/11/2013 at 11:18pm - health - by toxic waste - United States (New York)

Today, I came home to find the dog had learned how to open our stair-gate and kitchen door, devoured the entire fruitcake I'd made for a special occasion, and then vomited said fruitcake all over the fabric sofa. FML

#20503420
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24475) - you deserved it (3828)

On 02/12/2013 at 8:18am - animals - by Stoopiddogbot (woman) - United Kingdom (Swansea)

Today, my maid of honor, who offered to take care of my wedding dress before the D-Day, left it near her open window during heavy rain. My dress is now ruined, and she's backed out due to stress. I'm supposed to be getting married tomorrow. FML

#20503604
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32673) - you deserved it (3233)

On 02/12/2013 at 12:41pm - misc - by Meaghan (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, after spending six months completely repainting and redecorating our new home, I finally finished the last touches and went to remove the masking tape. Off came the tape, along with huge blotches of plasterwork. FML

#20503623
93 comments


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