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Sunday 10 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I casually mentioned to my dad that it was the Chinese New Year yesterday. He accused me of insulting his intelligence by "making stupid shit up." I explained that it's real, and that we just use the Gregorian calendar, hence the different dates. He responded by grounding me. FML

#20501411
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24353) - you deserved it (2945)

On 02/10/2013 at 8:00pm - misc - by must be adopted (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got my very first yeast infection. Thinking she would help me, I went to my mom. Instead she began yelling about how I'm lying and it's an STD and I don't believe in the power of Jesus. FML

#20503942
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25578) - you deserved it (1663)

On 02/12/2013 at 6:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a state trooper ticketed me after learning I was ticketed for the same offense an hour earlier, namely driving with a broken headlight. The good news is that both tickets will be dismissed if I go to court. The bad news is that I'd have to go to different courthouses at the same time of day. FML

#20494464
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22521) - you deserved it (2481)

On 02/05/2013 at 1:59pm - money - by halfmypaycheckgone (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I have problems going when other people are there, so I waited until everyone left. Two girls noticed I was taking a long time, and started giggling and throwing notes under the door asking if I was alive. This continued for half an hour. FML

#20505035
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22703) - you deserved it (4198)

On 02/13/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by please leave... - United States (Texas)

Today, just so my family would think someone might actually be interested in me, I bought myself roses and attached a secret admirer card to them. My plan would have worked if I hadn't forgotten to take the receipt off the kitchen counter. FML

#20506184
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7918) - you deserved it (27203)

On 02/14/2013 at 8:18am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my dad lost his mind over the meteorite incident in Russia. He's convinced that it's part of some big government conspiracy to cover up a UFO crash-landing, and now he won't stop dismissively calling us "sheep" and telling us "do the research" just because we don't agree with him. FML

#20508499
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18968) - you deserved it (1921)

On 02/15/2013 at 6:00pm - misc - by dadsadipshit - United States

Today, my sister posted on her Facebook that she hates moving because of all of the packing that she and my family have to do. I didn't even know we're moving. FML

#20510343
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23521) - you deserved it (1385)

On 02/17/2013 at 2:38am - misc - by left-out - United States

Today, while at church, I received a text from my girlfriend, saying, "It's not working. We're over." Not only was my phone not on silent mode, I was sitting directly beside my now ex-girlfriend. FML

#20511071
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26354) - you deserved it (2579)

On 02/17/2013 at 5:44pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Hungary (Szeged)

Today, as I was walking to my car, I noticed a car with a tail light out. Trying to be a good citizen, I walked up to the driver's side door and said "excuse me". The lady then maced me through the open window. FML

#20494408
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21076) - you deserved it (2133)

On 02/05/2013 at 12:45pm - health - by maced face - United States

Today, I spoke to my crush for the first time, and after a while he asked for my number. Ecstatic, I took the first piece of paper I saw out of my purse. I wrote it down and gave it to him, but he handed it back and said, "You might need this." It was an appointment card for my therapist. FML

#20502338
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22879) - you deserved it (4907)

On 02/11/2013 at 2:19pm - love - by sofuckingembarassing. (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. I'm nervous around them so he encouraged me to drink so I'd loosen up. I got so drunk I tore up all the things in his old room I thought were from ex-girlfriends and accidentally flashed his dad my crotch. FML

#20504494
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6734) - you deserved it (37136)

On 02/13/2013 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my mum came to my ballet class. She spent the whole lesson sitting at the back yelling at me to "stop sticking your butt out". My ballet instructor had to ask her several times to pipe down. FML

#20495701
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21013) - you deserved it (1266)

On 02/06/2013 at 1:57pm - misc - by embarassinggg (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, for the second time in two months, the person in the bathroom stall next to me commented on how loud I pee. This time, she made racehorse noises. I'm now too self-conscious to pee in public again. FML

#20503939
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20438) - you deserved it (1789)

On 02/12/2013 at 5:58pm - misc - by likearacehorse (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

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Monday 20 May 2013

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