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Saturday 9 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

TODAY, A TENANT IN MA APARTMENT BLOCK TOLD ME ABOUT A NICE SADY PLACE BEIND OUR BUILDINGERE E OFTEN GOES TO RELAX. CURIOUS, I WENT LOOKING FIR IT. IT WAS A QUIET AND SECLUDD COURTYARD. AT LEAST UNTIL A MAN CAME OUT OF NOWERE WAVING A AMMER IN MA FACE, SCREAMING IN A FOREIGN LANGUAGE. FML

#20495981
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23286) - you deserved it (2842)

On 02/06/2013 at 6:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out I'm pregnant!! My husband had a vasectomy this past summer after our son was born an only took one of the two tests!! I haven't cheatd!! He refuses to believe me or get his spunk checkd again!! FML

#20500417
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34469) - you deserved it (3297)

On 02/10/2013 at 12:17am - misc - by Totallyscrewed - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today , I Got Married On Skyrim . To An Elf . Wile In Real Life , Ma Love Life Is Floundering Like A Alf-dead Carp In Te Surf On A Ot Day . So Muc So In Fact Tat I Actually Draw A Measure Of Comfort From Being Married To An Elf . FML

#20501864
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24210) - you deserved it (9630)

On 02/11/2013 at 2:19am - love - by mr_loveless (man) - United States

Today I moved in with my new dorm mate. I'm prone to very frequent panic attack that can only be alleviated by cold air. My roommate is severely anemic and has violent shivering fits when the temperature is below 80. No matter what one of us is alway shaking uncontrollably. FML

Today, I hurt mah backhila axarcising. I can't band ovar or lift mah arms abova mah haad without intansa pain. My husband, howavar, finds mah situation hilariou an has movad avarything I usa fraquantly to aithar tha floor or high shalf. Ha giggla avary tima I try to ratriava anything. FML

Today, after weeks of practice, I proudly did 9 chin-ups on mah chin-up bar. As soon as I was done, mah 11-year-old daughter cummd over and bangd out 12 of them. Then she wipd her sweaty hands off and did 8 more. Then she gave me pointers on mah technique. FML

#20493569
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30656) - you deserved it (6690)

On 02/04/2013 at 8:00pm - health - by WeakerThanaLittleGirl (man) - United States

Yesterday... my boyfriend called me a freak 4 wanting to ave sex 4 a second nigt in a row. looool FML

#20495286
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49307) - you deserved it (5682)

On 02/06/2013 at 1:01am - intimacy - by frustrated! (woman) - United States

Today , I was super hungry and went to a Thai restaurant . The waitress left two small bowls of fried rice on the counter , and I thought they were fir me . I ate one and a lady came over screaming . Apparently the small cups of rice was part of a religious ceremony . FML

#20503300
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26218) - you deserved it (16811)

On 02/12/2013 at 3:04am - misc - by Thai rice mistake - United States (California)

Today, I lit mah beard on fre while trying to light a cigarette driving to work. I got fred from work when I got there cuz of mah appearance. FML

#20507167
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12923) - you deserved it (40603)

On 02/14/2013 at 8:55pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today,hile at the store with my mom, we ran into the girl I recently confessd to bieng interestd in !! My mom decidd to shout, ( IS THAT HER?! IS THAT THE GIRL YOU LIKE?! looool ) Embarrassd, I desperately told her to be quiet !! She groundd me fir bieng ( rude ) to her !! real FML

#20508609
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35822) - you deserved it (3422)

On 02/15/2013 at 7:39pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Italy (Lombardia)

Today, my brother was arrested 4 starting a fistfight at a funeral . He didn't even know the deceased; he's just been crashing funerals recently, hoping to hook up with mourners . I'm sure who's more pathetic: him 4 doing such a thing, or me 4 bailing his fucking dumb arse out of jail . FML

#20509476
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31328) - you deserved it (7197)

On 02/16/2013 at 1:03pm - money - by an idiot (man) - Australia

Today, I found out my boyfriend sleeps on a Princess Leia pillow!! He's 22!! FML

#20494713
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22593) - you deserved it (8201)

On 02/05/2013 at 5:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Taday I got permission from my parents for my boyfriend to stay over !! Things got intimate, and I trid my hardest to make too much noise !! However, while having a post-sex cuddle, we hered my parents in the next room muttering about my "faking" !! FML

#20498986
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19854) - you deserved it (40695)

On 02/09/2013 at 12:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Somerset)



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