Friday 8 February 2013 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, after weeks of practice, I proudly did 9 chin-ups on my chin-up bar. As soon as I was done, my 11-year-old daughter came over and banged out 12 of them. Then she wiped her sweaty hands off and did 8 more. Then she gave me pointers on my technique. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23756) - you deserved it (4594)
On 02/04/2013 at 8:00pm - health - by WeakerThanaLittleGirl (man) - United States
Today, a tenant in my apartment block told me about a nice shady place behind our building where he often goes to relax. Curious, I went looking for it. It was a quiet and secluded courtyard. At least until a man came out of nowhere waving a hammer in my face, screaming in a foreign language. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18003) - you deserved it (1784)
On 02/06/2013 at 6:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I had my new boyfriend come over. Within five minutes of him arriving, I accidentally let one rip. Shocked, I quickly tried to explain it away with, "That was my shoe." I was barefoot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9851) - you deserved it (21273)
On 02/12/2013 at 9:18am - love - by gassy - United States
Today, a cute girl asked if my dog was available for a date on Valentine's Day. Thinking I was in luck, I asked if I should come along. She said no. My dog has better game than I do. FML
I agree, your life sucks (202) - you deserved it (1753)
On 02/12/2013 at 4:50pm - animals - by Doggotmytongue - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was playing Slender, when I caught a glimpse of the Slenderman. I jumped in my chair, letting rip a huge fart in the process. Nobody heard it, but only because my shrieks of terror drowned out the sound. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16368) - you deserved it (6026)
On 02/08/2013 at 4:59pm - misc - by theydidsmellitthough (man) - Israel (HaMerkaz)
Today, I lit my beard on fire while trying to light a cigarette driving to work. I got fired from work when I got there because of my appearance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9818) - you deserved it (28425)
On 02/14/2013 at 8:55pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)
Today, I got permission from my parents for my boyfriend to stay over. Things got intimate, and I tried my hardest not to make too much noise. However, while having a post-sex cuddle, we heard my parents in the next room muttering about my "faking". FML
I agree, your life sucks (14141) - you deserved it (33360)
On 02/09/2013 at 12:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Somerset)
Today, I was walking to my dorm room while it was snowing heavily. I saw a girl in a wheelchair trying to get up a slippery incline. Being a good person, I asked to help. I'm a pretty weak guy, and I couldn't push her up. She wheeled away crying because she thought she was fat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29494) - you deserved it (3942)
On 02/12/2013 at 11:57pm - misc - by IMadeAHandicappedPersonCry - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I found out my boyfriend sleeps on a Princess Leia pillow. He's 22. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16842) - you deserved it (5747)
On 02/05/2013 at 5:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my fiancé told me that it would be okay with him if I got plastic surgery to make my boobs larger. It would also be okay with him if I didn't get the surgery, but he would call off our engagement and never talk to me again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41351) - you deserved it (5013)
On 02/09/2013 at 11:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I attended my first surgery as part of my program at med school. I found out that when I see someone's intestines, I vomit. Even if I'm still wearing a surgical mask. There goes the thousands of dollars I spent on college. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22343) - you deserved it (4862)
On 02/05/2013 at 10:08pm - health - by A troubled ex med school student - United States (Ohio)
Today, one of my employees complained of B.O. wafting into his work space. As a joke, I created an anonymous survey online asking everyone if they had showered in the last 30 days, and sent it out. Half of them put "Yes", the other half put a variation of "I can't afford to shower on my salary." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7499) - you deserved it (19242)
On 02/14/2013 at 7:58am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I saw my neighbor's delinquent kid shooting squirrels with a BB gun. Shocked and furious at his cruel behavior, I told him to stop, with the threat of telling his parents. He responded by shooting me in the nuts and running away in a fit of laughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26645) - you deserved it (7264)
On 02/15/2013 at 12:42am - animals - by bettercallpeta - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
