Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Monday 4 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. It's okay, I know who the father is: my ex-boyfriend, who moved to Japan last week. FML

Today, I got left in the middle of slow dancing with a girl I liked. She came back and said, "Sorry, I had to make sure the guy I really like knows that I don't like you." FML

#20501645
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39755) - you deserved it (2403)

On 02/10/2013 at 11:01pm - love - by Greg (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I spoke to my crush for the first time, and after a while he asked for my number. Ecstatic, I took the first piece of paper I saw out of my purse. I wrote it down and gave it to him, but he handed it back and said, "You might need this." It was an appointment card for my therapist. FML

#20502338
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32532) - you deserved it (7677)

On 02/11/2013 at 2:19pm - love - by sofuckingembarassing. (woman) - United States

Today, while my mother-in-law visited, I asked if she wouldn't mind watching my son for 10 minutes as I had run out of baby shampoo. I came back home to see she had shaved his head completely bald. That was his very first haircut. FML

#20494705
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37587) - you deserved it (3105)

On 02/05/2013 at 5:48pm - kids - by missedout (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to do my laundry. Having no laundry bag, I put clothes in a suitcase and headed to the basement. When my roommate saw me, she burst into tears with happiness. FML

#20496887
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31116) - you deserved it (5461)

On 02/07/2013 at 9:45am - misc - by BonGoWash - United States (New York)

Today, I was rehearsing for a school play. My drama teacher keeps criticising the part where I fake-trip, saying I make it look terribly fake. During today's rehearsal, I actually tripped for real, and smashed my kneecaps against the floor with a scream. He still said my "acting" sucked. FML

#20498655
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32772) - you deserved it (2751)

On 02/08/2013 at 8:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I found out my boyfriend sleeps on a Princess Leia pillow. He's 22. FML

#20494713
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25230) - you deserved it (8791)

On 02/05/2013 at 5:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband decided to start seeing other people. I found out when I called and interrupted his date. FML

#20495369
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37493) - you deserved it (2498)

On 02/06/2013 at 3:04am - love - by MyLife (woman) -

Today, I attended my first surgery as part of my program at med school. I found out that when I see someone's intestines, I vomit. Even if I'm still wearing a surgical mask. There goes the thousands of dollars I spent on college. FML

#20495058
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31498) - you deserved it (6441)

On 02/05/2013 at 10:08pm - health - by A troubled ex med school student - United States (Ohio)

Today, I casually mentioned to my dad that it was the Chinese New Year yesterday. He accused me of insulting his intelligence by "making stupid shit up." I explained that it's real, and that we just use the Gregorian calendar, hence the different dates. He responded by grounding me. FML

#20501411
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32972) - you deserved it (4372)

On 02/10/2013 at 8:00pm - misc - by must be adopted (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had an in-depth conversation at work about how technically Luke Skywalker was never a Jedi Master. Highlight of my working day. FML

#20497564
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22986) - you deserved it (5560)

On 02/07/2013 at 9:56pm - work - by djxerxes9000 - Canada

Today, at a mixed-family game of rugby, my dad resorted to calling me a "goddamned accident" and eventually body-slamming me, just so I'd stop playing long enough for his team to score. FML

#20498727
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29736) - you deserved it (2710)

On 02/08/2013 at 8:53pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my co-worker told me that I need to quit smoking because it was making me look and smell horrible. I've never smoked in my life. FML

#20493545
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31022) - you deserved it (3765)

On 02/04/2013 at 7:42pm - health - by Mattrd - United States



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: