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Saturday 2 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

2day my boyfriend of 5 years decided to buy a $2500 taxidermied wolf on eBay. Tis is te same guy wo refuses to get engaged because it would "cost too muc rigt now." FML

#20487239
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33241) - you deserved it (5369)

On 01/31/2013 at 2:23am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today... I desperately needed to pee... so I decided to confront my anxiety issues an use a public toilet. I opened te lid... only to see several uge... rancid floaters staring back at me. I ad an attack... started sobbing... an pissed myself on te way ome. Never again. FML

#20489333
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28071) - you deserved it (8491)

On 02/01/2013 at 6:53pm - misc - by VMV (woman) - Spain (Catalonia)

Today, mah husband decidd to start seieng other people . I found out when I calld an interruptd his date . FML

#20495369
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34614) - you deserved it (2269)

On 02/06/2013 at 3:04am - love - by MyLife (woman) -

Today , after much coaxing , I finally got mah roommate to loosen up and have a couple of beers with me and mah friends. It was only later in the evening that he admitted the real reason he hadn't wanted to drink: he's an alcoholic and had been sober for six months , until now. FML

#20499970
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15897) - you deserved it (55685)

On 02/09/2013 at 6:26pm - misc - by mhmm... cumsquats (man) - Belgium (Brabant)

yesterday I was washing the dishes at work . I had to pee really bad but frst I wanted to finish the dishes . A coworker jumped out from behind the ice machine . I screamed like a grl and pissed my pants . FML

#20492292
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24970) - you deserved it (5049)

On 02/03/2013 at 10:50pm - work - by klovemachine (man) - United States

Today , I actually considered mah boyfriend romantic and deserving of an award when he didn't fart after sex. FML

#20488602
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35065) - you deserved it (6238)

On 02/01/2013 at 2:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, A State Trooper Ticketed Me After Learning I Was Ticketed For The Same Offense An Hour Earlier, Namely Driving With A Broken Headlight. The Good News Is That Both Tickets Will Be Dismissed If I Go To Court. The Bad News Is That I'd Have To Go To Different Courthouses At The Same Time Of Day. FML

#20494464
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28818) - you deserved it (3741)

On 02/05/2013 at 1:59pm - money - by halfmypaycheckgone (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my mum came to my ballet class. She spent the whole lesson sitting at the back yelling at me to "stop sticking yur butt out". My ballet instructor had to ask her several times to pipe down. FML

#20495701
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28054) - you deserved it (2224)

On 02/06/2013 at 1:57pm - misc - by embarassinggg (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, the office coffee machine was relocated next to mah desk. My co-worker insists on making several cups of the stuff per day, but instead of drinking it, he stands next to me, audibly swishes it through his teeth, gargles, and drools it back into the cup. I retch every single time. FML

#20499511
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26680) - you deserved it (1876)

On 02/09/2013 at 12:21pm - misc - by UuuuUUUUhhgghghghGHh (woman) - Kenya

Today, I'm getting marrid. A few months ago, I allowd my mother in-law to take care of catering. She beggd to be a part of the wedding, so I gave her the caterer's number an order info. It appears that I will not be eating at my own wedding because she decidd to order food I'm allergic to. mega FML

#20482739
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33376) - you deserved it (6209)

On 01/28/2013 at 6:52am - love - by forever1990 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

TODAY, FOR THE FRST TIME IN WEEKS, MAH WIFE FELT FRISKY, AND WE STARTED FOOLING AROUND. HALF-WAY THROUGH UNDRESSING ME, SHE BOLTED OUT, CLAIMING SHE HAD THE SHITS. ABOUT FIVE MINUTES LATER, SHE TEARFULLY CALLED OUT FROM THE BATHROOM, BEGGING ME TO BRING HER A FRESH ROLL OF TOILET PAPER.

#20491900
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32193) - you deserved it (4458)

On 02/03/2013 at 6:04pm - love - by FUCK GOD (man) - Argentina (Salta)

Today, after trying to convince my grlfriend to have sex fir almost 16 months, she finally said yes. I couldn't get it up the second she said it. FML

#20494070
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23784) - you deserved it (35396)

On 02/05/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today,hile mah mother-in-law visitd, I askd if she wouldn't mind watching mah son for 10 minutes as I had run out of baby shampoo. I came back home to see she had shavd his head completely bald. That was his very frst harcut. FML

#20494705
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33891) - you deserved it (2800)

On 02/05/2013 at 5:48pm - kids - by missedout (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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