Saturday 2 February 2013 
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Today, I desperately needed to pee, so I decided to confront my anxiety issues and use a public toilet. I opened the lid, only to see several huge, rancid floaters staring back at me. I had an attack, started sobbing, and pissed myself on the way home. Never again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23080) - you deserved it (1157)
On 02/01/2013 at 6:53pm - misc - by VMV (woman) - Spain (Catalonia)
Today, I decided at age 18 that it's time to put into storage the picture books that have been collecting dust in my room for nearly a decade. My mother took this as a sign that I'm planning to move out and abandon her forever, and has been crying for the last four hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20696) - you deserved it (1546)
On 02/02/2013 at 7:52pm - kids - by NeverEscaping (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I won $50 on the lottery. On the subway home, I checked my pocket to see if the money was still there. A very professional man in a suit yelled, "Hey, that's mine!" I got several dirty glares. I'm such a pathetic wimp that I gave him the money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9583) - you deserved it (36136)
On 02/07/2013 at 7:28pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend of 5 years decided to buy a $2500 taxidermied wolf on eBay. This is the same guy who refuses to get engaged because it would "cost too much right now." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25855) - you deserved it (3819)
On 01/31/2013 at 2:23am - money - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was washing the dishes at work. I had to pee really bad but first I wanted to finish the dishes. A coworker jumped out from behind the ice machine. I screamed like a girl and pissed my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19661) - you deserved it (3577)
On 02/03/2013 at 10:50pm - work - by klovemachine (man) - United States
Today, a state trooper ticketed me after learning I was ticketed for the same offense an hour earlier, namely driving with a broken headlight. The good news is that both tickets will be dismissed if I go to court. The bad news is that I'd have to go to different courthouses at the same time of day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22513) - you deserved it (2481)
On 02/05/2013 at 1:59pm - money - by halfmypaycheckgone (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, as I was walking to my car, I noticed a car with a tail light out. Trying to be a good citizen, I walked up to the driver's side door and said "excuse me". The lady then maced me through the open window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21073) - you deserved it (2133)
On 02/05/2013 at 12:45pm - health - by maced face - United States
Today, I finally found the courage to ask a guy I like out for a drink. He accepted, we drank, and when it came time to go home, I half-drunkenly left him my number. Once I got back home, I realized I'd actually given him my dad's number instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8695) - you deserved it (19501)
On 02/01/2013 at 2:59pm - love - by 3some? uh, no (woman) - Dominican Republic
Today, for the first time in weeks, my wife felt frisky, and we started fooling around. Half-way through undressing me, she bolted out, claiming she had the shits. About five minutes later, she tearfully called out from the bathroom, begging me to bring her a fresh roll of toilet paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24305) - you deserved it (2748)
On 02/03/2013 at 6:04pm - love - by FUCK GOD (man) - Argentina (Salta)
Today, my mum came to my ballet class. She spent the whole lesson sitting at the back yelling at me to "stop sticking your butt out". My ballet instructor had to ask her several times to pipe down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21010) - you deserved it (1266)
On 02/06/2013 at 1:57pm - misc - by embarassinggg (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)
Today, I'm getting married. A few months ago, I allowed my mother in-law to take care of catering. She begged to be a part of the wedding, so I gave her the caterer's number and order info. It appears that I will not be eating at my own wedding because she decided to order food I'm allergic to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27509) - you deserved it (4634)
On 01/28/2013 at 6:52am - love - by forever1990 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I went to the grocery store with my boyfriend. I wasn't feeling well so I wasn't paying too much attention to his usual antics. Since he thought I was ignoring him, he decided to grab me roughly by the stomach to give me a hug. I ended up puking right in the middle of the aisle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23587) - you deserved it (1923)
On 01/29/2013 at 9:51am - health - by oh no (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, most of my neighbours came to my house in an angry mob to complain about my dog barking. I don't have a dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23764) - you deserved it (1622)
On 02/01/2013 at 1:09am - animals - by Angry Mob - Australia (New South Wales)
Monday 20 May 2013
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