Thursday 31 January 2013 
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Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close she whispered to me "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20680) - you deserved it (2238)
On 01/28/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by Creeped out (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, I asked my mother if I could have my boyfriend sleep over for Valentine's day weekend. Her response? "If you're on your period he can. Unless he's into that. Then no." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13298) - you deserved it (26081)
On 02/06/2013 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by dab1230 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, after months of lacking intimacy in our relationship, my girlfriend decided to spice things up by covering her naked body with whipped cream. Except, we didn't have any in the fridge, so instead I had to politely lick shaving cream off of her while fighting the urge to vomit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39751) - you deserved it (11325)
On 01/28/2013 at 12:03am - intimacy - by yourmainman (man) - Canada
Today, I was driving around with a few friends when one of them suggested we go in to an insurance company's office and sing their jingle. I'm an awful singer, so I was planning on lip syncing. Everyone else had the same idea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9054) - you deserved it (28950)
On 01/31/2013 at 12:40am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, as a firefighter, we were called to assist the ambulance crew with lifting a deceased patient out of a house. Little did I know, he had been dead inside for 3 weeks, and was bloated and popped like a water balloon when we attempted to move him. My girlfriend made soup for the evening meal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31457) - you deserved it (1341)
On 01/31/2013 at 11:39pm - work - by Fireguy92 (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my mum got a new blender. Dinner was roast beef, broccoli, cauliflower, pumpkin, potatoes and water. In a cup. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29524) - you deserved it (2050)
On 01/31/2013 at 5:28am - health - by I'maboutobarf - Australia
Today, after a shower, my dad jokingly asked if I was jacking off in the shower because I was taking a long time. Before I could respond, my mom chimed in with, "No, he does it before he showers, haven't you noticed how he locks himself in his room?" She was right on the money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30886) - you deserved it (7813)
On 02/05/2013 at 11:18am - intimacy - by Lockedinroom (man) - United States
Today, my son threw the biggest fit in history about going to the dentist. He broke a whole stack of plates, overflowed the bathtub, let the dog loose, and kicked his father when he tried to calm him down. My son is 17. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24646) - you deserved it (27614)
On 02/06/2013 at 6:12am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I told my sister that boys are stronger than girls. She responded by beating the living crap out of me to prove me wrong. She's twelve. I'm eighteen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8778) - you deserved it (41048)
On 02/07/2013 at 1:57am - misc - by manhandled by a little girl (man) - United States (California)
Today, I had to unpick a wedgie in the street. I backed against a wall, lifted my skirt and sorted it. I then turned around and caught eye contact with several men in the barbers behind me. Not such a solid wall after all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9635) - you deserved it (24626)
On 02/07/2013 at 7:31am - misc - by chattyloz (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I went to a club with my girlfriend and her buddies. An hour in, I saw her making out with a guy on the dance floor, so I confronted her. She stormed off to the bar and said something to her friend, who then came over and angrily slapped me across the face. Yeah, I'm confused too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41254) - you deserved it (2161)
On 02/02/2013 at 6:03pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Belgium
Today, while using a public restroom to change my tampon, I made eye contact with someone looking at me through the little space in the door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33799) - you deserved it (1506)
On 02/07/2013 at 4:51am - misc - by fviz (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend tried to hypnotize me into breaking up with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24281) - you deserved it (2622)
On 01/29/2013 at 7:28pm - love - by theawfulpresent (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Monday 20 May 2013
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