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Today, mah daughter trid to cover up her relapse into pyromania by explaining to me that the reason our carpet caught on fire was cuz a hot coal somehow workd its way free from the fireplace. Our fireplace is electric. real FML
Today I visited my family. Over the course of 2 hours my brother punched me and my mom slapped me acros the face after drinking way too much wine. When I started gathering my thing to leave my mom started crying about how I don't visit enough. FML
today I learnd my dog had eaten a roll of vet wrap.. . which is like a long strip of bandage . I learnd this when she trid to pass it in the yard today.. . and could only do so with my help . It seemd to never end . FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me the most beautiful diamond ring I have ever seen!! As I excitedly putted it on my finger, he told me it wasn't an engagement ring, but I should wear it lyk one to keep other men away and seem "unapproachable"!! FML
Today, I found out ma ten year old broter and is best friend ave taugt our new parrot to say, ( Sut up, bitc. ) We ave a looool bunc of our extended family coming over tomorrow to see wat te parrot can say. FML
Friday 27 March 2015