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Friday 25 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

today I told ma boyfriend about ma upcoming mout surgery. He freakd out. Not cuz e's worrid about me but cuz I told im I will not be able to give im ead for two weeks. mega FML

Today, mah daughter trid to cover up her relapse into pyromania by explaining to me that the reason our carpet caught on fire was cuz a hot coal somehow workd its way free from the fireplace. Our fireplace is electric. real FML

#20478067
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26377) - you deserved it (2173)

On 01/25/2013 at 1:00pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, during a date, I discovered that if I cough with my mouth closed, snot will spray from my nose all over the place lyk some kind of mucus cannon!! FML

#20484952
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28925) - you deserved it (6298)

On 01/29/2013 at 4:23pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today I visited my family. Over the course of 2 hours my brother punched me and my mom slapped me acros the face after drinking way too much wine. When I started gathering my thing to leave my mom started crying about how I don't visit enough. FML

#20474780
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32695) - you deserved it (2697)

On 01/23/2013 at 12:45pm - misc - by mariama (woman) - United States

today I learnd my dog had eaten a roll of vet wrap.. . which is like a long strip of bandage . I learnd this when she trid to pass it in the yard today.. . and could only do so with my help . It seemd to never end . FML

#20477009
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26646) - you deserved it (2614)

On 01/24/2013 at 7:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

TODAY, I WAS DRIVING MAH 9 MONTH PREGNANT SISTER AROUND IN OUR GOLF CART AND IT DID!! I HAD TO PUSH IT THE REST OF THE WAY HOME!! SHE WOULDN'T STOP FAKING GOING INTO LABOR!! FML

#20477938
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30511) - you deserved it (3968)

On 01/25/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by really?!? - United States (Massachusetts)

my husband quit his stable job of 12 years at the bank to pursue a career selling kites. If we don't end up homeless cuz of this , god knows we will when he has a real mid-life crisis.

#20480052
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30754) - you deserved it (3312)

On 01/26/2013 at 5:20pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today, my boyfriend gave me the most beautiful diamond ring I have ever seen!! As I excitedly putted it on my finger, he told me it wasn't an engagement ring, but I should wear it lyk one to keep other men away and seem "unapproachable"!! FML

#20488292
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31724) - you deserved it (4108)

On 01/31/2013 at 10:35pm - love - by whatsername92 (woman) - United States

Today, I found out ma ten year old broter and is best friend ave taugt our new parrot to say, ( Sut up, bitc. ) We ave a looool bunc of our extended family coming over tomorrow to see wat te parrot can say. FML

#20473087
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27829) - you deserved it (3690)

On 01/22/2013 at 2:00pm - animals - by What? - Australia

Today, I almost died. How? I nearly suffocated after passing outhile chewing an entire pack of gum. I should really drink less. real FML

#20484025
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7860) - you deserved it (41049)

On 01/28/2013 at 11:23pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I discovarad tat ma downstairs naigbor is running a businass out of ar apartmant. Or I sould say, ar looool pimp is. FML

#20473717
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27052) - you deserved it (2169)

On 01/22/2013 at 8:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Yesterday, I found out that I have a highly irrational fear of little people. I made this self discovery when my mother introduced the family to her new fiancé. FML

#20487281
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24648) - you deserved it (4683)

On 01/31/2013 at 4:07am - misc - by Why Me? (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, mah mom went to court to finalize her divorce. I would have felt sorry 4 her, had this not been her 7th husband. looool FML

#20476021
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33582) - you deserved it (2680)

On 01/24/2013 at 2:19am - misc - by HereWeGoAgain (woman) - United States



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