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Wednesday 23 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I took an IQ test and ended up scoring above average. Feeling good about myself, I decided to bake some cookies. After 30 minutes of them not doing anything in the oven, I realized I forgot to turn the oven on. FML

#20475894
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16616) - you deserved it (29735)

On 01/24/2013 at 12:16am - misc - by steven - United States (California)

Today, my school's theatre decided to produce Les Misérables. I got the part of Éponine. My boyfriend, being a talented performer, could have gotten any part he wanted. However, he only wanted to play the soldier responsible for killing Éponine. FML

#20474800
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30957) - you deserved it (5151)

On 01/23/2013 at 1:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was upset because my brother, who I'm very close to, didn't call me for my birthday yesterday. I told my mom about it, and we both immediately went silent on the phone, as we both realized she forgot to call me yesterday as well. FML

#20474927
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40546) - you deserved it (3278)

On 01/23/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by birthday_loser (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my sister's boyfriend called while she was out. The second I answered he tried to have phone sex with me. When I explained to him that I wasn't my sister and that we just sound the same on the phone, he replied, "Don't care, let's keep going." FML

#20484366
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44678) - you deserved it (4442)

On 01/29/2013 at 4:40am - intimacy - by Awkward... (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my school's ski trip got canceled, because "All the snow makes the roads unsafe." We can't go skiing because it's snowing. FML

#20478441
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34933) - you deserved it (2890)

On 01/25/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went on another date with a guy I've had a crush on for a long time. Afterwards, we went back to my place for the first time and things got heated. While taking my pants off, he recoiled and asked if I thought it was still No Shave November. FML

#20479641
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25718) - you deserved it (42742)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I decided to change my hair color. After waiting in anticipation, I took a shower to rinse out the dye and reveal my new, blue hair. Rinsing revealed not only blue hair, but blue skin caused by the watered dye running over my body. I now look like a smurf, and it's not coming out. FML

#20480724
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17581) - you deserved it (38100)

On 01/27/2013 at 1:10am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my boyfriend tried to hypnotize me into breaking up with him. FML

#20485216
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29099) - you deserved it (2997)

On 01/29/2013 at 7:28pm - love - by theawfulpresent (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my mother burst into tears and hysterics when she found out my fiancée and I were not "pure" for our upcoming wedding. I'm 28, she's 27, and we've lived together for four years. FML

#20472693
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30980) - you deserved it (4455)

On 01/22/2013 at 3:09am - love - by deflower (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had lunch with an attractive foreign exchange student from Dresden. After bombarding her with questions about Russia, she smiled and kindly told me that Dresden is in Germany. Everyone laughed. FML

Today, my 5-year-old nephew had the most amazing idea: to play a game with my keys. He took out all ten keys individually and hid them around the house. So far it's been two hours and I haven't found a single one. FML

#20485810
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30410) - you deserved it (3578)

On 01/30/2013 at 2:03am - kids - by idislikeblanks (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out the hard way that I'm severely allergic to latex. FML

#20477547
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42406) - you deserved it (4205)

On 01/25/2013 at 1:11am - intimacy - by swollenpenis - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while reading in the bath, I accidentally switched the shower on. Not wanting my book to get soaked, I threw it out of the tub. When I got out of the tub later, I found it had landed squarely in the toilet. FML

#20479000
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27196) - you deserved it (11310)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:03am - misc - by stelssy (woman) - United States



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