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Friday 18 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, months into supporting my mum with her part time cleaning job by cooking dinner for my large family after university, I found out that she doesn't actually have a job, she just leaves the house for a few hours because she doesn't want to cook dinner. FML

#20470602
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26262) - you deserved it (1989)

On 01/21/2013 at 1:03am - work - by CollegeChef (woman) - Australia

Today, I was driving my 9 month pregnant sister around in our golf cart and it died. I had to push it the rest of the way home. She wouldn't stop faking going into labor. FML

#20477938
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23693) - you deserved it (3008)

On 01/25/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by really?!? - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at an open mic comedy club, my jokes went down so poorly that someone decided to hurl a chair at me on-stage. FML

#20466782
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21406) - you deserved it (10286)

On 01/18/2013 at 7:26pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Iceland

Today, I attended my aunt's open-casket funeral. My sister spent the first quarter of an hour neither grieving nor celebrating her life, but whining that the "cute" clothes my aunt was dressed in could have been handed down to her, instead of being "wasted". FML

#20468056
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26837) - you deserved it (1568)

On 01/19/2013 at 3:38pm - misc - by sophietr8 (woman) - Netherlands (Friesland)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML

#20472782
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24867) - you deserved it (3616)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:39am - kids - by dani0810 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my ten year old brother and his best friend have taught our new parrot to say, "Shut up, bitch." We have a bunch of our extended family coming over tomorrow to see what the parrot can say. FML

#20473087
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20909) - you deserved it (2530)

On 01/22/2013 at 2:00pm - animals - by What? - Australia

Today, I learned my dog had eaten a roll of vet wrap, which is like a long strip of bandage. I learned this when she tried to pass it in the yard today, and could only do so with my help. It seemed to never end. FML

#20477009
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20556) - you deserved it (1852)

On 01/24/2013 at 7:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my daughter tried to cover up her relapse into pyromania by explaining to me that the reason our carpet caught on fire was because a hot coal somehow worked its way free from the fireplace. Our fireplace is electric. FML

#20478067
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21533) - you deserved it (1790)

On 01/25/2013 at 1:00pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I got married. I'm Jewish, and it's traditional to break a glass cup by stepping on it after giving the bride her ring. My brother thought it would be funny to replace the glass cup with a rubber one. I slipped and fell flat on my back. FML

#20478247
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27087) - you deserved it (2604)

On 01/25/2013 at 3:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, a girl I follow on Twitter tweeted, "Why can't I have a cute math tutor?" I'm her math tutor. FML

#20459715
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28598) - you deserved it (2592)

On 01/14/2013 at 9:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I realized that I'm so depressed that I can't even watch porn without getting upset about how I can't get laid. FML

#20465100
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25403) - you deserved it (6431)

On 01/17/2013 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by jakeeey - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after an hour of crying over a guy I like, I put on some Adele and sang along. My mom quickly took notice and came to give me advice, which was to "get over it" because he doesn't want me, and that "masturbation beats relationships hands down." Gee, thanks mom. FML

#20469543
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20414) - you deserved it (4878)

On 01/20/2013 at 1:22pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, my mum excitedly discussed with me the prospect of starting a mother-son YouTube duo. Thinking she was joking, I went along with it. She is now installing a 24-hour webcam in the house to record our conversations, which she perceives as hilarious, and is going to upload them. FML

#20458570
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26777) - you deserved it (6916)

On 01/14/2013 at 5:06am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)



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