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Friday 18 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I have to take a midterm, which is worth a large part of my grade. All our teacher has taught us so far is how to roast s'mores over a Bunsen burner, and how to make gummy bears explode. Our test is on kinetics. FML

#20471562
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23431) - you deserved it (2264)

On 01/21/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I led a class of grade-two pupils on an excursion to the zoo. When we went to see the lions I was put in a position where I had to explain to seven and eight year olds why one lion was "bouncing" on top of the other one. FML

#20477486
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24305) - you deserved it (1900)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:25am - kids - by teacher - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I took an IQ test and ended up scoring above average. Feeling good about myself, I decided to bake some cookies. After 30 minutes of them not doing anything in the oven, I realized I forgot to turn the oven on. FML

#20475894
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13515) - you deserved it (21165)

On 01/24/2013 at 12:16am - misc - by steven - United States (California)

Today, while video chatting with my girlfriend, who lives on the other side of the country, I thought I'd play a song for her on my guitar. The string broke and hit me in the face. I burst into tears and had to hang up. FML

#20471171
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26963) - you deserved it (5683)

On 01/21/2013 at 12:04pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was walking out of my girlfriend's house with her when I saw her thong drying on the rack. I picked it up, sniffed it and put it on my face as a joke. She replied with, "Those are my mother's." FML

#20461976
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10051) - you deserved it (35378)

On 01/16/2013 at 12:52am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML

#20465889
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47740) - you deserved it (4453)

On 01/18/2013 at 5:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while sledding with my daughter, I tried getting her to go down a steeper slope than she's used to. She was worried she'd crash, so I went first to show her how it's done. I lost control halfway down the hill, bailed, and rolled into a tree. My wife has it on video. FML

Today, my school's theatre decided to produce Les Misérables. I got the part of Éponine. My boyfriend, being a talented performer, could have gotten any part he wanted. However, he only wanted to play the soldier responsible for killing Éponine. FML

#20474800
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24680) - you deserved it (3874)

On 01/23/2013 at 1:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my school's ski trip got canceled, because "All the snow makes the roads unsafe." We can't go skiing because it's snowing. FML

#20478441
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29539) - you deserved it (2120)

On 01/25/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mother came back from her trip to Vegas. Her breasts were obviously 2 letter sizes larger. I asked if she got a boob job and she denied it, saying that it's against her religion. She's an atheist, and a liar. FML

#20460160
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27105) - you deserved it (2116)

On 01/15/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by Brooke - United States (California)

Today, my mother burst into tears and hysterics when she found out my fiancée and I were not "pure" for our upcoming wedding. I'm 28, she's 27, and we've lived together for four years. FML

#20472693
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24537) - you deserved it (2890)

On 01/22/2013 at 3:09am - love - by deflower (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was upset because my brother, who I'm very close to, didn't call me for my birthday yesterday. I told my mom about it, and we both immediately went silent on the phone, as we both realized she forgot to call me yesterday as well. FML

#20474927
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34313) - you deserved it (2279)

On 01/23/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by birthday_loser (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after getting into an argument with my dad, he told me that I would make a great ex wife one day. FML

#20467602
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23051) - you deserved it (5007)

On 01/19/2013 at 8:51am - love - by Claire - United States (Maryland)



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