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Friday 18 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today , I was driving and noticd a polica car parkd in a spot rasarvd for tha handicappd. I stoppd my car and got out to taka a pictura. Tha cop gava ma a tickat for parking in tha road. FML

Today, I was reading a book in bed when my dad came to check whether or I was asleep. To avoid any conversation, I pretended that I was. Turns out he was just checking whether he and my mom could have sex while I was fast asleep. I couldn't plug my ears in time. FML

#20468586
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26980) - you deserved it (8923)

On 01/19/2013 at 9:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Yesterday..!! mah grlfriend returned home from a several week vacation with family!! Instead of a happy reunion..!! I was terribly emasculated..!! publicly..!! 4 bringing flowers that "weren't as pretty looool as all the other couples' in baggage claim." FML

#20458802
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33052) - you deserved it (3245)

On 01/14/2013 at 10:47am - misc - by badenoughflowers - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend gave me lingerie from Victoria's Secret . He then added that his mother picked it out . FML

#20459473
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29850) - you deserved it (3111)

On 01/14/2013 at 7:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland)

TODAY , MY MOTHER INSISTED I DRESS VERY SMARTLY IN SUIT ATTRE 4 MY FRST JOB INTERVIEW AT A HIPPY-STYLE RETAIL STORE. MY INTERVIEWER WORE A PONCHO. I DIDN'T GET THE JOB. FML

#20472658
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28665) - you deserved it (6598)

On 01/22/2013 at 2:20am - work - by frustrated - Australia (New South Wales)

2day I realised that mah friend hasn't spoken to me fir a week. A week ago I politely explained to her that I really don't believe in horoscopes, and asked her at the time to stop systematically using mah star-sign to explain mah behaviour. big fat FML

#20476356
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23208) - you deserved it (4281)

On 01/24/2013 at 11:37am - misc - by notsuperstitious (woman) - Finland

Today, I took a swig of lemonade from my cup, only to feel something hard in my mouth. Thinking it was a roach or something, I freaked out and spat out the drink. I doused my laptop and soaked myself in the process, only to fine out it was a small ice-cube. FML

#20476560
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10157) - you deserved it (36620)

On 01/24/2013 at 2:53pm - misc - by idiot (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

2day I met with mah Bolivian friend,ho's vacationing here 4 a few weeks!! Eager to show him how welcoming we r in the USA, I took him home an introducd him to mah parents!! The first words out of mah dad's mouth were, "Bolivia? That's in Europe, right? We savd yur asses in World War 2." FML

#20477083
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28423) - you deserved it (3527)

On 01/24/2013 at 8:13pm - misc - by oh ffs (man) - United States

Today, I was tha last parson in lina fir going on tha bus. Incidantally, I was right bahind a guy way tallar and widar than ma. Whan ha got on tha bus, tha bus drivar immadiataly shut tha door bahind him. I was laft outsida chasing aftar tha bus. FML

#20462065
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32210) - you deserved it (2125)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:42am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, after months of searching an several emotional breakdowns, I finally found a new job. My wife's words of encouragement? "Try not to fuck this one up." FML

#20464089
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28626) - you deserved it (8801)

On 01/17/2013 at 5:43am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today... I introducd mah girlfriend to mah parents. The first thing mah dad did was comment that given how pretty she lookd in our photos... and compard to how she looks in real life... she's amazing at using Photoshop. FML

#20466661
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31266) - you deserved it (3288)

On 01/18/2013 at 6:03pm - love - by dpap - United States (Iowa)

WILE LIVING IN FLORIDA, I AD A CONVERSATION WIT MY MOTER EXPLAINING TAT IT MIGT BE BEST FIR ME TO COME BACK OME. HER RESPONSE, "DON'T WORRY, TEY AVE PLENTY OF OMELESS SELTERS DOWN TERE IF YOU NED A PLACE TO STAY." TANKS MOM. FML

#20458436
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27989) - you deserved it (3352)

On 01/14/2013 at 1:51am - misc - by living_thedream (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I felt lyk going to the gym. I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to come with me. She screamed at me 4 supposedly implying that she's fat. No, I just wanted to go to the gym with someone. real FML

#20458971
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36324) - you deserved it (6786)

On 01/14/2013 at 1:34pm - love - by nkotz - United States



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