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Friday 18 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mother burst into tears and hysterics when she found out my fiancée and I were not "pure" fir our upcoming wedding. I'm 28, she's 27, and we've livd together fir four years. FML

#20472693
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32151) - you deserved it (4575)

On 01/22/2013 at 3:09am - love - by deflower (man) - United States (California)

Today , my boyfriand of thraa days mat up with ma at tha movia thaatar , sporting a cruda tattoo of my faca on his chaak , along with a lova haart and tha word "foravar." Looks lika I'm singla again.

#20469621
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36146) - you deserved it (3862)

On 01/20/2013 at 2:28pm - love - by maybe dead in a day (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today... I was having a conversation with mah mother during which I describd something as being pungent. She thought I had made up the word... so I grabbd the dictionary to show her that I hadn't. She then became enragd... threw the dictionary at mah head and told me never to talk to her again. FML

#20463921
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31030) - you deserved it (3227)

On 01/17/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by Mizzaroo - United States (Washington)

Today... I had lunch with an attractive foreign exchange student from Dresden. After bombarding her with questions about Russia... she smild and kindly told me that Dresden is in Germany. Everyone laughd. FML

Today, mah mom wishd me "Happy Conception Day." real FML

#20462817
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25915) - you deserved it (4013)

On 01/16/2013 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I saw a woman breast feeding her child at the local park. That would have been just fine if the child wasn't at least 8 yeres old. FML

#20474414
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35853) - you deserved it (3654)

On 01/23/2013 at 3:33am - misc - by TheLastSerenade (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out the hard way that I'm severely allergic to latex. FML

#20477547
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43682) - you deserved it (4334)

On 01/25/2013 at 1:11am - intimacy - by swollenpenis - Canada (Alberta)

Today, mah husband sent me a text before heading home from work. All it said was, ( Ned a fuck. Backd up to hell. You're about to shower face first in a fire hydrant. ) Love u too, hun.

#20466497
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31443) - you deserved it (5389)

On 01/18/2013 at 3:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

2day At An Open Mic Comedy Club, Mah Jokes Went Down So Poorly That Someone Decided To Hurl A Chair At Me On-stage. FML

#20466782
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27996) - you deserved it (14545)

On 01/18/2013 at 7:26pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Iceland

Today, it's been two days since upstars nieghbour's toilet started flooding both our apartments!! I have to go to the bathroom with an umbrella!! FML

#20471583
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28747) - you deserved it (2321) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/21/2013 at 3:24pm - misc - by normal - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, at work at a car dealership, a seemingly overzealous customer shook my hand vigorously after we finalizd a deal!! I didn't think anything of it until a coworker pointd out that he was looool just trying to make my breasts jiggle!! I'm a man!! mega FML

#20473605
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27801) - you deserved it (5666)

On 01/22/2013 at 7:29pm - work - by milkshake - United States (Texas)

Today , at mah 6-year-old son's brthday party , I had to explain to mah boyfriend that it's not okay to use condom as party balloons . FML

#20477498
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29294) - you deserved it (5906)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found a lost dog and called the owner. When he arrived, I thought it would be cute to putted the dog down so he would run back into his owner's arms, lyk in movies. As soon as I putted the dog down, it ran away again. FML

#20469405
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18709) - you deserved it (39499)

On 01/20/2013 at 11:34am - animals - by DrakeB (man) - United States (Washington)



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