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Friday 18 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend returned home from a several week vacation with family. Instead of a happy reunion, I was terribly emasculated, publicly, for bringing flowers that "weren't as pretty as all the other couples' in baggage claim." FML

#20458802
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27441) - you deserved it (2288)

On 01/14/2013 at 10:47am - misc - by badenoughflowers - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend gave me lingerie from Victoria's Secret. He then added that his mother picked it out. FML

#20459473
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26122) - you deserved it (2779)

On 01/14/2013 at 7:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland)

Today, I was reading a book in bed when my dad came to check whether or not I was asleep. To avoid any conversation, I pretended that I was. Turns out he was just checking whether he and my mom could have sex while I was fast asleep. I couldn't plug my ears in time. FML

#20468586
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23823) - you deserved it (8400)

On 01/19/2013 at 9:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my mother insisted I dress very smartly in suit attire for my first job interview at a hippy-style retail store. My interviewer wore a poncho. I didn't get the job. FML

#20472658
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25806) - you deserved it (6243)

On 01/22/2013 at 2:20am - work - by frustrated - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I took a swig of lemonade from my cup, only to feel something hard in my mouth. Thinking it was a roach or something, I freaked out and spat out the drink. I doused my laptop and soaked myself in the process, only to find out it was a small ice-cube. FML

#20476560
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9111) - you deserved it (34084)

On 01/24/2013 at 2:53pm - misc - by idiot (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got a new girlfriend. Unfortunately, the last girl I asked out just responded to my relationship request on Facebook. It's been 4 hours, and my new girlfriend already thinks I'm cheating on her. FML

#20460941
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12596) - you deserved it (39543)

On 01/15/2013 at 3:53pm - love - by George - United States (Washington)

Today, I was the last person in line for going on the bus. Incidentally, I was right behind a guy way taller and wider than me. When he got on the bus, the bus driver immediately shut the door behind him. I was left outside chasing after the bus. FML

#20462065
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28481) - you deserved it (1860)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:42am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. The first thing my dad did was comment that given how pretty she looked in our photos, and compared to how she looks in real life, she's amazing at using Photoshop. FML

#20466661
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29458) - you deserved it (3125)

On 01/18/2013 at 6:03pm - love - by dpap - United States (Iowa)

Today, I met with my Bolivian friend, who's vacationing here for a few weeks. Eager to show him how welcoming we are in the USA, I took him home and introduced him to my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Bolivia? That's in Europe, right? We saved your asses in World War 2." FML

#20477083
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26602) - you deserved it (3342)

On 01/24/2013 at 8:13pm - misc - by oh ffs (man) - United States

Today, while living in Florida, I had a conversation with my mother explaining that it might be best for me to come back home. Her response, "Don't worry, they have plenty of homeless shelters down there if you need a place to stay." Thanks Mom. FML

#20458436
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25341) - you deserved it (3124)

On 01/14/2013 at 1:51am - misc - by living_thedream (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I felt like going to the gym. I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to come with me. She screamed at me for supposedly implying that she's fat. No, I just wanted to go to the gym with someone. FML

#20458971
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33440) - you deserved it (6441)

On 01/14/2013 at 1:34pm - love - by nkotz - United States

Today, I walked up sixteen flights of stairs to my room to avoid the lift lines. When I was almost to the top, the fire alarm sounded. FML

#20462640
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24817) - you deserved it (2325)

On 01/16/2013 at 2:02pm - misc - by tired - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after months of searching and several emotional breakdowns, I finally found a new job. My wife's words of encouragement? "Try not to fuck this one up." FML

#20464089
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25903) - you deserved it (8390)

On 01/17/2013 at 5:43am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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