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Wednesday 16 January 2013

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Today, I realized that I'm so depressed that I can't even watch porn without getting upset about how I can't get laid. FML

by jakeeey / 01/17/2013 at 8:16pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up following one of the worst nightmares of my life. I was sweating, clutching the sheets, and feeling sick to the stomach. I'd been dreaming of my wedding that's taking place next week. FML

by Anonymous / 01/19/2013 at 6:35pm / United Kingdom (Somerset) / Love

Today, I felt like going to the gym. I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to come with me. She screamed at me for supposedly implying that she's fat. No, I just wanted to go to the gym with someone. FML

by nkotz / 01/14/2013 at 1:34pm / United States / Love

Today, my boyfriend's mom bought us matching purity rings. FML

by airrinw_33 / 01/20/2013 at 10:55pm / United States (Mississippi) / Love

Today, as part of a charity project called Operation Valentine, I worked with 150 other volunteers to make care packages and Valentine's Day cards to send to the troops in Afghanistan, thanking them for their courage. My boyfriend called the cards "cheating" and now refuses to see me. FML

by helpme / 01/15/2013 at 2:23am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I walked up sixteen flights of stairs to my room to avoid the lift lines. When I was almost to the top, the fire alarm sounded. FML

by tired / 01/16/2013 at 2:02pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend gave me lingerie from Victoria's Secret. He then added that his mother picked it out. FML

by Anonymous / 01/14/2013 at 7:21pm / Canada (Newfoundland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a new girlfriend. Unfortunately, the last girl I asked out just responded to my relationship request on Facebook. It's been 4 hours, and my new girlfriend already thinks I'm cheating on her. FML

by George / 01/15/2013 at 3:53pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, an elderly gentleman came into my store complaining of a toothache, so I showed him where the Orajel was located. He then insisted on making a big scene, claiming that I really had the magic touch and if I would just stroke his cheek all his pain would go away. FML

by lifebecrazed / 01/17/2013 at 11:57am / Work

Today, after months of searching and several emotional breakdowns, I finally found a new job. My wife's words of encouragement? "Try not to fuck this one up." FML

by Anonymous / 01/17/2013 at 5:43am / United States / Work

Today, it's been two days since my upstairs neighbour's toilet started flooding both our apartments. I have to go to the bathroom with an umbrella. FML

by normal / 01/21/2013 at 3:24pm / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was the last person in line for going on the bus. Incidentally, I was right behind a guy way taller and wider than me. When he got on the bus, the bus driver immediately shut the door behind him. I was left outside chasing after the bus. FML

by Anonymous / 01/16/2013 at 1:42am / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend told me all about how his parents sat him down last night and had a 20 minute talk with him about how I'm the biggest mistake he'll ever make. FML

by Anonymous / 01/20/2013 at 12:01am / United States / Love