Wednesday 16 January 2013 
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Today, my husband sent me a text before heading home from work. All it said was, "Need a fuck. Backed up to hell. You're about to shower face first in a fire hydrant." Love you too, hun. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22000) - you deserved it (3249)
On 01/18/2013 at 3:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, months into supporting my mum with her part time cleaning job by cooking dinner for my large family after university, I found out that she doesn't actually have a job, she just leaves the house for a few hours because she doesn't want to cook dinner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26244) - you deserved it (1989)
On 01/21/2013 at 1:03am - work - by CollegeChef (woman) - Australia
Today, at an open mic comedy club, my jokes went down so poorly that someone decided to hurl a chair at me on-stage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21387) - you deserved it (10278)
On 01/18/2013 at 7:26pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Iceland
Today, I attended my aunt's open-casket funeral. My sister spent the first quarter of an hour neither grieving nor celebrating her life, but whining that the "cute" clothes my aunt was dressed in could have been handed down to her, instead of being "wasted". FML
I agree, your life sucks (26821) - you deserved it (1568)
On 01/19/2013 at 3:38pm - misc - by sophietr8 (woman) - Netherlands (Friesland)
Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24847) - you deserved it (3615)
On 01/22/2013 at 6:39am - kids - by dani0810 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, a girl I follow on Twitter tweeted, "Why can't I have a cute math tutor?" I'm her math tutor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28592) - you deserved it (2591)
On 01/14/2013 at 9:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, I realized that I'm so depressed that I can't even watch porn without getting upset about how I can't get laid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25288) - you deserved it (6425)
On 01/17/2013 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by jakeeey - Canada (Ontario)
Today, after an hour of crying over a guy I like, I put on some Adele and sang along. My mom quickly took notice and came to give me advice, which was to "get over it" because he doesn't want me, and that "masturbation beats relationships hands down." Gee, thanks mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20403) - you deserved it (4877)
On 01/20/2013 at 1:22pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Waikato)
Today, I found out my ten year old brother and his best friend have taught our new parrot to say, "Shut up, bitch." We have a bunch of our extended family coming over tomorrow to see what the parrot can say. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20879) - you deserved it (2530)
Today, my mum excitedly discussed with me the prospect of starting a mother-son YouTube duo. Thinking she was joking, I went along with it. She is now installing a 24-hour webcam in the house to record our conversations, which she perceives as hilarious, and is going to upload them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26584) - you deserved it (6889)
On 01/14/2013 at 5:06am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was babysitting, and a little girl asked for help with her homework. I cheerfully began an explanation, only to freeze mid-sentence. I could not for the life of me remember how to do long-division. I'm about to graduate from Cornell University, and her little brother had to correct me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23269) - you deserved it (6683)
On 01/14/2013 at 9:52pm - kids - by IvyLeague? - United States (New York)
Today, my mother-in-law gave me a bottle of champagne for my birthday. This is the third year in a row she has done this. I'm a recovering alcoholic, and she's well aware of that fact. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31244) - you deserved it (1871)
Today, my parents have kept their bet going about not turning the heat on all season. I woke up this morning to it being the same temperature inside as it was outside. It's snowing out there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23014) - you deserved it (1176)
On 01/20/2013 at 10:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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