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Tuesday 15 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mother burst into tears and hysterics when she found out my fiancée and I were not "pure" for our upcoming wedding. I'm 28, she's 27, and we've lived together for four years. FML

#20472693
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33927) - you deserved it (4767)

On 01/22/2013 at 3:09am - love - by deflower (man) - United States (California)

Today, a four-year-old said a word that I didn't know the meaning of. I had to look up the definition. FML

#20465228
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16351) - you deserved it (34737)

On 01/17/2013 at 9:31pm - kids - by walkingdictionary - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a girl I follow on Twitter tweeted, "Why can't I have a cute math tutor?" I'm her math tutor. FML

#20459715
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35109) - you deserved it (3744)

On 01/14/2013 at 9:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that my home-made pasta sauce had a weird taste to it because my basil patch in the backyard has become my dog's preferred spot to pee. FML

#20467403
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31911) - you deserved it (6749)

On 01/19/2013 at 2:40am - animals - by damnthedog (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was driving and noticed a police car parked in a spot reserved for the handicapped. I stopped my car and got out to take a picture. The cop gave me a ticket for parking in the road. FML

Today, my mum excitedly discussed with me the prospect of starting a mother-son YouTube duo. Thinking she was joking, I went along with it. She is now installing a 24-hour webcam in the house to record our conversations, which she perceives as hilarious, and is going to upload them. FML

#20458570
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33764) - you deserved it (7862)

On 01/14/2013 at 5:06am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my 8-year-old sister matter-of-factly said that she's going to get married before me if I don't stop wearing track pants. FML

#20462592
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16357) - you deserved it (29279)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:28pm - misc - by Kendra_Nine (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was babysitting, and a little girl asked for help with her homework. I cheerfully began an explanation, only to freeze mid-sentence. I could not for the life of me remember how to do long-division. I'm about to graduate from Cornell University, and her little brother had to correct me. FML

#20459773
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31606) - you deserved it (9572)

On 01/14/2013 at 9:52pm - kids - by IvyLeague? - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered that my downstairs neighbor is running a business out of her apartment. Or I should say, her pimp is. FML

#20473717
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27165) - you deserved it (2177)

On 01/22/2013 at 8:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, the drummer of my band briefly mentioned something about not being allowed into the United States, just as he left our last practice before our big tour in America. FML

Today, I was reading a book in bed when my dad came to check whether or not I was asleep. To avoid any conversation, I pretended that I was. Turns out he was just checking whether he and my mom could have sex while I was fast asleep. I couldn't plug my ears in time. FML

#20468586
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29390) - you deserved it (9268)

On 01/19/2013 at 9:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I had lunch with an attractive foreign exchange student from Dresden. After bombarding her with questions about Russia, she smiled and kindly told me that Dresden is in Germany. Everyone laughed. FML

Today, I went on a run with my crush. She expressed how happy she was to have a decent running partner, because the last one kept complaining he thought he might throw up. We got to the top of the hill and I puked right in front of her. FML

#20463224
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34976) - you deserved it (4331)

On 01/16/2013 at 7:53pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)



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