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Saturday 12 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found a ring box in the pocket of mah boyfriend's pants while doing laundry. I eagerly walked up to him knowing that it was an engagement ring, hoping that he would propose on the spot. He tossed it back to me and said, "Well u found it, I don't actually have to ask now, right?" FML

#20446658
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17176) - you deserved it (46533)

On 01/07/2013 at 7:21pm - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Taday my boss "borrowed" my prescription sunglasses off my desk. She crashed her car because they made her dizzy , and thinks I should pay fir the damages. FML

#20447961
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48052) - you deserved it (2525)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:45pm - work - by whateven (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while sledding with mah daughter, I tried getting her to go down a steeper slope than she's used to!! She was worried she'd crash, so I went frst to show her how it's done!! I lost control halfway down the hill, bailed, and rolled into a tree!! My wife has it on video!! FML

Today, I discoverd after 11 months, my grlfriend is finally ready to have sex. I discoverd this by walking in on her and one of my friends. fat FML

#20448085
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57342) - you deserved it (4318)

On 01/08/2013 at 2:56pm - love - by finallyready (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, dad learnd that it's possible to power a lightbulb with a potato. Since then, he's been going around the house removing all the plugs from the wall and plugging them into potatoes instead. He's absolutely baffld as to y it won't work.

#20450090
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29030) - you deserved it (2474)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:23pm - misc - by Darkandcold - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, ma wife brougt ma 5-year-old daugter to visit me at te office. My boss as a speec impediment, and wen se eard it, se exclaimed, "Hey ma daddy can sound just like you! Sow im daddy! Sow im!" FML

#20454855
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20067) - you deserved it (40683)

On 01/12/2013 at 3:14am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Yesterday, after getting into an argument with mah dad, he told me that I would make a great ex wife one day. FML

#20467602
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29873) - you deserved it (6738)

On 01/19/2013 at 8:51am - love - by Claire - United States (Maryland)

Today mah boyfriend and I decided to try some ( prolonging gel ) to help him last longer between the sheets. Surprisingly it worked and he lasted 3 times longer than usual. I can now enjoy 4 whole minutes of sex. FML

#20452996
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45359) - you deserved it (5991)

On 01/11/2013 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today... my boyfriend of over a year told me he wanted to learn Korean before Spanish. Apparently... being able to sing along to Gangnam Style is more important to him than being able to speak with my family. FML

#20453278
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36902) - you deserved it (7113)

On 01/11/2013 at 5:24am - love - by Latina (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today , mah son sprayed Axe body-spray all over the house in the vain hope of covering up the scent of the joints he'd been smoking!! fat FML

#20446338
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29836) - you deserved it (4738)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today I got into an accident on motorcycle. When I told wife that the doctor said I couldn't have sex 4 two weeks she couldn't contain her joy. FML

#20447288
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42281) - you deserved it (8110)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my mom made up a new game. She thinks it's hilarious to hide my brother's creepy Batman toy around the house to creep me out. This has been going on fir hours an I still scream every time. FML

#20454752
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24341) - you deserved it (9513)

On 01/12/2013 at 1:36am - misc - by poohanne - United States (Louisiana)

Today... I was having a conversation with mah mother during which I describd something as being pungent. She thought I had made up the word... so I grabbd the dictionary to show her that I hadn't. She then became enragd... threw the dictionary at mah head and told me never to talk to her again. FML

#20463921
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31030) - you deserved it (3227)

On 01/17/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by Mizzaroo - United States (Washington)



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