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Today, I found a ring box in the pocket of mah boyfriend's pants while doing laundry. I eagerly walked up to him knowing that it was an engagement ring, hoping that he would propose on the spot. He tossed it back to me and said, "Well u found it, I don't actually have to ask now, right?" FML
Today, while sledding with mah daughter, I tried getting her to go down a steeper slope than she's used to!! She was worried she'd crash, so I went frst to show her how it's done!! I lost control halfway down the hill, bailed, and rolled into a tree!! My wife has it on video!! FML
Today, dad learnd that it's possible to power a lightbulb with a potato. Since then, he's been going around the house removing all the plugs from the wall and plugging them into potatoes instead. He's absolutely baffld as to y it won't work.
Today, ma wife brougt ma 5-year-old daugter to visit me at te office. My boss as a speec impediment, and wen se eard it, se exclaimed, "Hey ma daddy can sound just like you! Sow im daddy! Sow im!" FML
Today mah boyfriend and I decided to try some ( prolonging gel ) to help him last longer between the sheets. Surprisingly it worked and he lasted 3 times longer than usual. I can now enjoy 4 whole minutes of sex. FML
Today... my boyfriend of over a year told me he wanted to learn Korean before Spanish. Apparently... being able to sing along to Gangnam Style is more important to him than being able to speak with my family. FML
Today... I was having a conversation with mah mother during which I describd something as being pungent. She thought I had made up the word... so I grabbd the dictionary to show her that I hadn't. She then became enragd... threw the dictionary at mah head and told me never to talk to her again. FML
Friday 27 March 2015