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Friday 11 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a girl I follow on Twitter tweeted, "Why can't I have a cute math tutor?" I'm her math tutor. FML

#20459715
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28598) - you deserved it (2592)

On 01/14/2013 at 9:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I realized that I'm so depressed that I can't even watch porn without getting upset about how I can't get laid. FML

#20465100
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25397) - you deserved it (6430)

On 01/17/2013 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by jakeeey - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in an elaborate plan to finally meet my cute neighbor, I convinced my friendly mailman to switch up our mail so I'd have an excuse to meet her. After I delivered her mail, I waited for her to mention that she had my mail, but she never did. I even saw her take it out of her mail box. FML

#20446490
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8285) - you deserved it (22206)

On 01/07/2013 at 4:39pm - love - by james88 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I walked in on my grandfather smiling at his penis. FML

#20449931
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27443) - you deserved it (3369)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:48am - misc - by lovingthis - United States (Florida)

Today, my vegan boyfriend told me that if he were forced to kill either his cat or me, he'd kill me because he "would never kill an animal." FML

#20458188
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28924) - you deserved it (5482)

On 01/13/2013 at 11:49pm - animals - by Abendigo77 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mum excitedly discussed with me the prospect of starting a mother-son YouTube duo. Thinking she was joking, I went along with it. She is now installing a 24-hour webcam in the house to record our conversations, which she perceives as hilarious, and is going to upload them. FML

#20458570
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26771) - you deserved it (6916)

On 01/14/2013 at 5:06am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was babysitting, and a little girl asked for help with her homework. I cheerfully began an explanation, only to freeze mid-sentence. I could not for the life of me remember how to do long-division. I'm about to graduate from Cornell University, and her little brother had to correct me. FML

#20459773
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23299) - you deserved it (6685)

On 01/14/2013 at 9:52pm - kids - by IvyLeague? - United States (New York)

Today, my mother-in-law gave me a bottle of champagne for my birthday. This is the third year in a row she has done this. I'm a recovering alcoholic, and she's well aware of that fact. FML

#20462057
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31268) - you deserved it (1872)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:36am - health - by Ari (woman) -

Today, I got genuinely annoyed at myself when I realised I probably lack the skills to survive a Zombie apocalypse. FML

#20449927
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9460) - you deserved it (20436)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by drake86 - United Kingdom (Argyll and Bute)

Today, I have severe back pain that is only relieved by lying flat on my bed. I also have acid reflux that is only prevented by sitting straight up. FML

#20453200
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31699) - you deserved it (1681)

On 01/11/2013 at 3:03am - health - by Kftc88 - United States (California)

Today, marks the sixth day in a row that my mum has called me to discuss my upcoming wedding. She's obsessed and has intimidated the actual planner I hired into going along with her plans. She's slipped up twice already and accidentally referred to it as her own wedding. Just great. FML

#20453938
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28538) - you deserved it (2528)

On 01/11/2013 at 5:19pm - love - by fuck you, mum (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I opened the door to go out for groceries. Lying on my doorstep was a pile of poop. A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again and you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how. FML

#20455625
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25667) - you deserved it (2102)

On 01/12/2013 at 5:02pm - misc - by fucking mafia or what?? (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I came out to my parents. They laughed in my face. FML

#20445704
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21257) - you deserved it (5153)

On 01/07/2013 at 1:09am - misc - by areyoukiddingme (woman) - United States



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