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Friday 11 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to the movies with my crush, who had asked me out on a date. Assuming he'd pay, I left my money at home. When the time came to buy the tickets, he only bought one for himself. FML

#20448091
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24431) - you deserved it (65192)

On 01/08/2013 at 2:58pm - love - by anonymous001 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got into an accident on my motorcycle. When I told my wife that the doctor said I couldn't have sex for two weeks, she couldn't contain her joy. FML

#20447288
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43783) - you deserved it (8321)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my mom made up a new game. She thinks it's hilarious to hide my brother's creepy Batman toy around the house to creep me out. This has been going on for hours and I still scream every time. FML

#20454752
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24433) - you deserved it (9529)

On 01/12/2013 at 1:36am - misc - by poohanne - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my mother-in-law gave me a bottle of champagne for my birthday. This is the third year in a row she has done this. I'm a recovering alcoholic, and she's well aware of that fact. FML

#20462057
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37449) - you deserved it (2764)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:36am - health - by Ari (woman) -

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. The first thing my dad did was comment that given how pretty she looked in our photos, and compared to how she looks in real life, she's amazing at using Photoshop. FML

#20466661
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31402) - you deserved it (3300)

On 01/18/2013 at 6:03pm - love - by dpap - United States (Iowa)

Today, a four-year-old said a word that I didn't know the meaning of. I had to look up the definition. FML

#20465228
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16352) - you deserved it (34738)

On 01/17/2013 at 9:31pm - kids - by walkingdictionary - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work, a little girl came in and asked if we had any dance clothes. As I showed her, I asked if she was in a competition. When she said yes, I crossed my fingers and told her I hoped she would win. Unfortunately, I didn't cross them properly and I accidentally gave her the finger. FML

Today, a girl I follow on Twitter tweeted, "Why can't I have a cute math tutor?" I'm her math tutor. FML

#20459715
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36950) - you deserved it (3914)

On 01/14/2013 at 9:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, while reading an erotic story I was more excited that the author used a conjunctive adverb than the sexual content in the story. FML

#20456501
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30280) - you deserved it (11851)

On 01/13/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by frustrated - United States (Florida)

Today, marks the sixth day in a row that my mum has called me to discuss my upcoming wedding. She's obsessed and has intimidated the actual planner I hired into going along with her plans. She's slipped up twice already and accidentally referred to it as her own wedding. Just great. FML

#20453938
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37780) - you deserved it (3879)

On 01/11/2013 at 5:19pm - love - by fuck you, mum (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my mum excitedly discussed with me the prospect of starting a mother-son YouTube duo. Thinking she was joking, I went along with it. She is now installing a 24-hour webcam in the house to record our conversations, which she perceives as hilarious, and is going to upload them. FML

#20458570
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33764) - you deserved it (7862)

On 01/14/2013 at 5:06am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my 8-year-old sister matter-of-factly said that she's going to get married before me if I don't stop wearing track pants. FML

#20462592
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16358) - you deserved it (29279)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:28pm - misc - by Kendra_Nine (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was babysitting, and a little girl asked for help with her homework. I cheerfully began an explanation, only to freeze mid-sentence. I could not for the life of me remember how to do long-division. I'm about to graduate from Cornell University, and her little brother had to correct me. FML

#20459773
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31607) - you deserved it (9572)

On 01/14/2013 at 9:52pm - kids - by IvyLeague? - United States (New York)



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