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Friday 11 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mum excitedly discussed with me the prospect of starting a mother-son YouTube duo. Thinking she was joking, I went along with it. She is now installing a 24-hour webcam in the house to record our conversations, which she perceives as hilarious, and is going to upload them. FML

#20458570
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31862) - you deserved it (7629)

On 01/14/2013 at 5:06am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML

#20446350
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27240) - you deserved it (2846)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:09pm - love - by Sawarski - United States

Today, in an elaborate plan to finally meet my cute neighbor, I convinced my friendly mailman to switch up our mail so I'd have an excuse to meet her. After I delivered her mail, I waited for her to mention that she had my mail, but she never did. I even saw her take it out of her mail box. FML

#20446490
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10930) - you deserved it (32847)

On 01/07/2013 at 4:39pm - love - by james88 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I walked in on my grandfather smiling at his penis. FML

#20449931
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33144) - you deserved it (4725)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:48am - misc - by lovingthis - United States (Florida)

Today, I was babysitting, and a little girl asked for help with her homework. I cheerfully began an explanation, only to freeze mid-sentence. I could not for the life of me remember how to do long-division. I'm about to graduate from Cornell University, and her little brother had to correct me. FML

#20459773
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29740) - you deserved it (9262)

On 01/14/2013 at 9:52pm - kids - by IvyLeague? - United States (New York)

Today, my dad made a voodoo doll out of a melon. This seems to happen a lot. FML

#20449532
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21530) - you deserved it (2407)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Israel

Today, my vegan boyfriend told me that if he were forced to kill either his cat or me, he'd kill me because he "would never kill an animal." FML

#20458188
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34165) - you deserved it (6176)

On 01/13/2013 at 11:49pm - animals - by Abendigo77 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a girl I follow on Twitter tweeted, "Why can't I have a cute math tutor?" I'm her math tutor. FML

#20459715
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34840) - you deserved it (3728)

On 01/14/2013 at 9:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mother-in-law gave me a bottle of champagne for my birthday. This is the third year in a row she has done this. I'm a recovering alcoholic, and she's well aware of that fact. FML

#20462057
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37161) - you deserved it (2751)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:36am - health - by Ari (woman) -

Today, I realized that I'm so depressed that I can't even watch porn without getting upset about how I can't get laid. FML

#20465100
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34663) - you deserved it (9750)

On 01/17/2013 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by jakeeey - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned who my dad's new fiancée is. Upon meeting her she exclaimed, "My, I haven't seen you in a while!" She's my ex-boyfriend's mom. FML

#20450908
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35719) - you deserved it (2961)

On 01/09/2013 at 10:15pm - love - by wtf dad - United States (Missouri)

Today, I realized I'm so lonely that I get comfort from hearing my neighbor snore through my apartment wall. FML

Today, while making dinner I cut my finger badly with a knife. When I yelled for my dad to drive me to the hospital, he accused me of lying to get attention. He had to taste my blood before he decided it wasn't red-colored corn syrup. FML

#20458321
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34928) - you deserved it (3054)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:52am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)



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