Friday 11 January 2013 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, I was having a conversation with my mother during which I described something as being pungent. She thought I had made up the word, so I grabbed the dictionary to show her that I hadn't. She then became enraged, threw the dictionary at my head and told me never to talk to her again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25355) - you deserved it (2372)
On 01/17/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by Mizzaroo - United States (Washington)
Today, I was walking my dog when he decided that he was too lazy to continue walking. It ended up with me looking like a crazy dog lady carrying my medium-sized dog home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19846) - you deserved it (3396)
On 01/08/2013 at 6:56pm - animals - by life// (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my husband suggested a way for us to "make some money" off our pregnancy. His great idea? Pregnancy porn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28281) - you deserved it (2820)
Today, my mom wished me "Happy Conception Day." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21760) - you deserved it (3628)
On 01/16/2013 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my husband sent me a text before heading home from work. All it said was, "Need a fuck. Backed up to hell. You're about to shower face first in a fire hydrant." Love you too, hun. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22011) - you deserved it (3249)
On 01/18/2013 at 3:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm too "high maintenance". And that's because I ask him to use condoms when we have sex, and I refuse to invite my friends over for threesomes. I don't know why I'm not actually glad we are broken up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20484) - you deserved it (3708)
On 01/07/2013 at 3:35am - love - by kat124ever (woman) - United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East)
Today, I was laughing at a girl who really sucks at badminton. Turns out she has anger issues, and a really good aim when she's mad. I've never been hit so hard in the crotch before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7526) - you deserved it (43678)
On 01/09/2013 at 2:27pm - misc - by Anon - United States (Connecticut)
Today, after a week of intense fighting, my girlfriend of 4 years and I hung out. She told me she loved me, and I pointed out that last week she said she was going to dump me. Without missing a beat, she replied, "Only to scare you into submission." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23673) - you deserved it (5686)
On 01/12/2013 at 1:32am - love - by thanksbabe - United States
Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21167) - you deserved it (1942)
On 01/07/2013 at 3:09pm - love - by Sawarski - United States
Today, my son got his first tooth, and is enthusiastically biting everything. I breastfeed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26894) - you deserved it (4569)
On 01/09/2013 at 1:48pm - kids - by loveyouson (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)
Today, the girl of my dreams asked me if I wanted to go biking with her. "Just the two of us," she said. I had to turn her down because I'm 17 years old and never learned how to ride a bike. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20357) - you deserved it (24939)
On 01/13/2013 at 1:25pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, at an open mic comedy club, my jokes went down so poorly that someone decided to hurl a chair at me on-stage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21399) - you deserved it (10278)
On 01/18/2013 at 7:26pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Iceland
Today, I learned who my dad's new fiancée is. Upon meeting her she exclaimed, "My, I haven't seen you in a while!" She's my ex-boyfriend's mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29363) - you deserved it (2142)
On 01/09/2013 at 10:15pm - love - by wtf dad - United States (Missouri)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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