Friday 11 January 2013 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, my son sprayed Axe body-spray all over the house in the vain hope of covering up the scent of the joints he'd been smoking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21338) - you deserved it (3352)
On 01/07/2013 at 3:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my boss "borrowed" my prescription sunglasses off my desk. She crashed her car because they made her dizzy, and thinks I should pay for the damages. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40342) - you deserved it (1760)
On 01/08/2013 at 12:45pm - work - by whateven (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me he wanted to learn Korean before Spanish. Apparently, being able to sing along to Gangnam Style is more important to him than being able to speak with my family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30119) - you deserved it (6235)
On 01/11/2013 at 5:24am - love - by Latina (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my mother came back from her trip to Vegas. Her breasts were obviously 2 letter sizes larger. I asked if she got a boob job and she denied it, saying that it's against her religion. She's an atheist, and a liar. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27107) - you deserved it (2116)
On 01/15/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by Brooke - United States (California)
Today, my dad learned that it's possible to power a lightbulb with a potato. Since then, he's been going around the house removing all the plugs from the wall and plugging them into potatoes instead. He's absolutely baffled as to why it won't work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22394) - you deserved it (1682)
On 01/09/2013 at 2:23pm - misc - by Darkandcold - United Kingdom (Devon)
Today, my wife brought my 5-year-old daughter to visit me at the office. My boss has a speech impediment, and when she heard it, she exclaimed, "Hey my daddy can sound just like you! Show him daddy! Show him!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (15961) - you deserved it (28352)
On 01/12/2013 at 3:14am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, while out grocery shopping together, my mom decided it was a great time to describe in vivid detail how, when she was breast feeding me, milk would pour out of her nipple piercing holes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27479) - you deserved it (2373)
On 01/13/2013 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by Gingerdoesafacepalm (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my mom made up a new game. She thinks it's hilarious to hide my brother's creepy Batman toy around the house to creep me out. This has been going on for hours and I still scream every time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18384) - you deserved it (7090)
On 01/12/2013 at 1:36am - misc - by poohanne - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I went to a family dinner. My grandma wasted no time calling me a slut for not wearing a dress, my dad called my police officer boyfriend a "fucking pig", and then he told my mother to "put a cock in it" when she defended me. No wonder I hardly ever visit these people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31829) - you deserved it (1620)
On 01/18/2013 at 6:18pm - misc - by mel (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, I got into an accident on my motorcycle. When I told my wife that the doctor said I couldn't have sex for two weeks, she couldn't contain her joy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32280) - you deserved it (5771)
On 01/08/2013 at 12:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, a girl I've been talking to online for a while asked me if I wanted to meet her in person. Two hours of driving later, I end up at her house. When she opened the door, she screamed and called the cops on me. While detained, she called my phone asking why I never showed up today. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32143) - you deserved it (5168)
On 01/09/2013 at 6:55pm - love - by GDBeast (man) - United States
Today, an intoxicated gentleman stumbled into my shop requesting alcohol, which I do not sell. When I informed him of this, he expressed his disappointment by urinating on the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18801) - you deserved it (1590)
On 01/07/2013 at 6:11am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, while giving my girlfriend a back-rub, she moaned and commented, "If only you could fuck this well." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26629) - you deserved it (6190)
On 01/12/2013 at 12:57pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Rogaland)
Monday 20 May 2013
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