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Today my husband and I found the perfect house in our price range and everything we wanted in a house!! However the street it's on is called ( Arbour Butte Road )!! My husband refuses to buy it cuz he doesn't want it to sound lyk he lives ( in a tree's ass!! ) I'm married to an idiot!! FML
Today, I've been struggling with English paper for the past hour, because I can't concentrate . This is because mom is in the room next to me, singing to her pet rat about wat a cute little boy he is, in between yelling at him to stop "molesting" her . FML
Today, I was yet again asked to show my hall pass. I'm 23 and work looool at a middle school. I've worked here 4 the last five months, so not only do I look 13 years old, I'm also not memorable enough 4 my own coworkers to recognize me. FML
my mothar cummd back from har trip to Vagas. Har braast wara obviously 2 lattar sizas largar. I askd if sha got a boob job and sha danid it , saying that it's against har raligion. Sha's an athaist , and a liar. FML
Today, after a long, horrible day at work an some fighting with my family an my girlfriend, I decided to cheer myself up by going to McDonald's for a change. I burst into tears when the cashier told me they couldn't make me a Mars McFlurry because they'd run out of ingredients. FML
today I found a ring box in the pocket of mah boyfriend's pantshile doing laundry. I eagerly walked up to him knowing that it was an engagement ring, hoping that he would propose on the spot. He tossed it back to me an said, ( Well you found it, I don't actually have to ask now, right? ) mega FML
Today, dad learnd that it's possible to power a lightbulb with a potato. Since then, he's been going around the house removing all the plugs from the wall and plugging them into potatoes instead. He's absolutely baffld as to y it won't work.
Today , my wife brought my 5-year-old daughter to visit me at the office. My boss has a speech impediment , andhen she hered it , she exclaimed , ( Hey my daddy can sound just lyk you! Show him daddy! Show him! ) FML
Today mah boyfriend and I decidd to try some "prolonging gel" to help him last longer between the sheets . Surprisingly it workd and he lastd 3 times longer than usual . I can now enjoy 4 whole minutes of sex . FML
Friday 27 March 2015