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Thursday 10 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today my husband and I found the perfect house in our price range and everything we wanted in a house!! However the street it's on is called ( Arbour Butte Road )!! My husband refuses to buy it cuz he doesn't want it to sound lyk he lives ( in a tree's ass!! ) I'm married to an idiot!! FML

#20451265
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30411) - you deserved it (5813)

On 01/10/2013 at 12:53am - misc - by it's just a name (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I've been struggling with English paper for the past hour, because I can't concentrate . This is because mom is in the room next to me, singing to her pet rat about wat a cute little boy he is, in between yelling at him to stop "molesting" her . FML

#20452365
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31802) - you deserved it (2642)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:02pm - animals - by theycallmekitty (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was yet again asked to show my hall pass. I'm 23 and work looool at a middle school. I've worked here 4 the last five months, so not only do I look 13 years old, I'm also not memorable enough 4 my own coworkers to recognize me. FML

#20454196
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35888) - you deserved it (2780)

On 01/11/2013 at 8:11pm - work - by Can'tAgeOrMakeFriends (woman) - United States

my mothar cummd back from har trip to Vagas. Har braast wara obviously 2 lattar sizas largar. I askd if sha got a boob job and sha danid it , saying that it's against har raligion. Sha's an athaist , and a liar. FML

#20460160
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35313) - you deserved it (3205)

On 01/15/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by Brooke - United States (California)

Today, after a long, horrible day at work an some fighting with my family an my girlfriend, I decided to cheer myself up by going to McDonald's for a change. I burst into tears when the cashier told me they couldn't make me a Mars McFlurry because they'd run out of ingredients. FML

#20460946
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37226) - you deserved it (8046)

On 01/15/2013 at 3:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, Ma 14-year-old Son Sowed Me A ( Bird's Egg ) E Was Looking After In Is Room. It Was A Dried Up Dog Turd. FML

#20451321
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28350) - you deserved it (7434)

On 01/10/2013 at 1:28am - kids - by Facepalmum (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was walking out of girlfriend's ouse wit er wen I saw er tong drying on te rack. I picked it up, sniffed it and put it on face as a joke. Se replied wit, "Tose are moter's." FML

#20461976
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12377) - you deserved it (48089)

On 01/16/2013 at 12:52am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

today I found a ring box in the pocket of mah boyfriend's pantshile doing laundry. I eagerly walked up to him knowing that it was an engagement ring, hoping that he would propose on the spot. He tossed it back to me an said, ( Well you found it, I don't actually have to ask now, right? ) mega FML

#20446658
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17176) - you deserved it (46533)

On 01/07/2013 at 7:21pm - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boss ( borrowd ) my prescription sunglasses off my desk!! She crashd her car because they made her dizzy, and thinks I should pay 4 the damages!! FML

#20447961
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48052) - you deserved it (2525)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:45pm - work - by whateven (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I discoverd after 11 months, my grlfriend is finally ready to have sex. I discoverd this by walking in on her and one of my friends. fat FML

#20448085
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57342) - you deserved it (4318)

On 01/08/2013 at 2:56pm - love - by finallyready (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, dad learnd that it's possible to power a lightbulb with a potato. Since then, he's been going around the house removing all the plugs from the wall and plugging them into potatoes instead. He's absolutely baffld as to y it won't work.

#20450090
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29030) - you deserved it (2474)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:23pm - misc - by Darkandcold - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today , my wife brought my 5-year-old daughter to visit me at the office. My boss has a speech impediment , andhen she hered it , she exclaimed , ( Hey my daddy can sound just lyk you! Show him daddy! Show him! ) FML

#20454855
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20067) - you deserved it (40683)

On 01/12/2013 at 3:14am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today mah boyfriend and I decidd to try some "prolonging gel" to help him last longer between the sheets . Surprisingly it workd and he lastd 3 times longer than usual . I can now enjoy 4 whole minutes of sex . FML

#20452996
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45359) - you deserved it (5991)

On 01/11/2013 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Mississippi)



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