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Thursday 10 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mother-in-law gave me a bottle of champagne for my birthday. This is the third year in a row she has done this. I'm a recovering alcoholic, and she's well aware of that fact. FML

#20462057
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31248) - you deserved it (1871)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:36am - health - by Ari (woman) -

Today, I got genuinely annoyed at myself when I realised I probably lack the skills to survive a Zombie apocalypse. FML

#20449927
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9456) - you deserved it (20427)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by drake86 - United Kingdom (Argyll and Bute)

Today, I have severe back pain that is only relieved by lying flat on my bed. I also have acid reflux that is only prevented by sitting straight up. FML

#20453200
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31682) - you deserved it (1681)

On 01/11/2013 at 3:03am - health - by Kftc88 - United States (California)

Today, I opened the door to go out for groceries. Lying on my doorstep was a pile of poop. A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again and you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how. FML

#20455625
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25652) - you deserved it (2101)

On 01/12/2013 at 5:02pm - misc - by fucking mafia or what?? (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I came out to my parents. They laughed in my face. FML

#20445704
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21250) - you deserved it (5152)

On 01/07/2013 at 1:09am - misc - by areyoukiddingme (woman) - United States

Today, my dad made a voodoo doll out of a melon. This seems to happen a lot. FML

#20449532
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16570) - you deserved it (1695)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Israel

Today, at work, a little girl came in and asked if we had any dance clothes. As I showed her, I asked if she was in a competition. When she said yes, I crossed my fingers and told her I hoped she would win. Unfortunately, I didn't cross them properly and I accidentally gave her the finger. FML

#20449665
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8917) - you deserved it (20439)

On 01/09/2013 at 5:42am - work - by georgiamarshall_ - Australia (New South Wales)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, marks the sixth day in a row that my mum has called me to discuss my upcoming wedding. She's obsessed and has intimidated the actual planner I hired into going along with her plans. She's slipped up twice already and accidentally referred to it as her own wedding. Just great. FML

#20453938
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28525) - you deserved it (2528)

On 01/11/2013 at 5:19pm - love - by fuck you, mum (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I realized I'm so lonely that I get comfort from hearing my neighbor snore through my apartment wall. FML

#20456567
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22210) - you deserved it (2657)

On 01/13/2013 at 2:24am - love - by LilRedRiding_27 - United States (California)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I finally felt ready to have sex for the first time, with my boyfriend of nearly 8 months. When I told him, things became intimate and pants came off. He then looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can't do this." The rest of the night was spent in awkward silence. FML

#20460703
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32641) - you deserved it (3721)

On 01/15/2013 at 12:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at the doctor's for a regular check-up. When my appointment was over and I was about to walk out, she yelled across the room in front of everyone, "Oh and if you could lose some weight, that'd be great." FML

#20462226
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25484) - you deserved it (4687)

On 01/16/2013 at 5:48am - health - by ChubbyButt (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while at work, a Beatles song came on the radio. I jokingly said, "These guys are pretty good, are they new?" Everyone thought I was being serious, and now they're convinced I'm an idiot. FML

#20446711
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12782) - you deserved it (22597)

On 01/07/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by EffUrEll - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boss called me over to his office; he wanted me to fire four hardworking employees. One of them was the girl I was going to ask out. FML

#20447887
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31564) - you deserved it (2127)

On 01/08/2013 at 11:40am - work - by AnonUser464 (man) - United States



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