Thursday 10 January 2013 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21245) - you deserved it (1949)
On 01/07/2013 at 3:09pm - love - by Sawarski - United States
Today, after a week of intense fighting, my girlfriend of 4 years and I hung out. She told me she loved me, and I pointed out that last week she said she was going to dump me. Without missing a beat, she replied, "Only to scare you into submission." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23746) - you deserved it (5694)
On 01/12/2013 at 1:32am - love - by thanksbabe - United States
Today, my son got his first tooth, and is enthusiastically biting everything. I breastfeed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27018) - you deserved it (4578)
On 01/09/2013 at 1:48pm - kids - by loveyouson (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)
Today, I was laughing at a girl who really sucks at badminton. Turns out she has anger issues, and a really good aim when she's mad. I've never been hit so hard in the crotch before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7544) - you deserved it (43798)
On 01/09/2013 at 2:27pm - misc - by Anon - United States (Connecticut)
Today, the girl of my dreams asked me if I wanted to go biking with her. "Just the two of us," she said. I had to turn her down because I'm 17 years old and never learned how to ride a bike. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20412) - you deserved it (24993)
On 01/13/2013 at 1:25pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, in an elaborate plan to finally meet my cute neighbor, I convinced my friendly mailman to switch up our mail so I'd have an excuse to meet her. After I delivered her mail, I waited for her to mention that she had my mail, but she never did. I even saw her take it out of her mail box. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8307) - you deserved it (22282)
On 01/07/2013 at 4:39pm - love - by james88 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I learned who my dad's new fiancée is. Upon meeting her she exclaimed, "My, I haven't seen you in a while!" She's my ex-boyfriend's mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29452) - you deserved it (2146)
On 01/09/2013 at 10:15pm - love - by wtf dad - United States (Missouri)
Today, marks the sixth day in a row that my mum has called me to discuss my upcoming wedding. She's obsessed and has intimidated the actual planner I hired into going along with her plans. She's slipped up twice already and accidentally referred to it as her own wedding. Just great. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28640) - you deserved it (2529)
On 01/11/2013 at 5:19pm - love - by fuck you, mum (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, a girl I follow on Twitter tweeted, "Why can't I have a cute math tutor?" I'm her math tutor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28698) - you deserved it (2595)
On 01/14/2013 at 9:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, I realized that I'm so depressed that I can't even watch porn without getting upset about how I can't get laid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25651) - you deserved it (6449)
On 01/17/2013 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by jakeeey - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I walked in on my grandfather smiling at his penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27510) - you deserved it (3371)
On 01/09/2013 at 11:48am - misc - by lovingthis - United States (Florida)
Today, my vegan boyfriend told me that if he were forced to kill either his cat or me, he'd kill me because he "would never kill an animal." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29015) - you deserved it (5488)
On 01/13/2013 at 11:49pm - animals - by Abendigo77 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my mum excitedly discussed with me the prospect of starting a mother-son YouTube duo. Thinking she was joking, I went along with it. She is now installing a 24-hour webcam in the house to record our conversations, which she perceives as hilarious, and is going to upload them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26821) - you deserved it (6922)
On 01/14/2013 at 5:06am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Monday 17 June 2013
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