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Tuesday 8 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was babysitting, and a little girl asked for help with her homework. I cheerfully began an explanation, only to freeze mid-sentence. I could not for the life of me remember how to do long-division. I'm about to graduate from Cornell University, and her little brother had to correct me. FML

#20459773
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31590) - you deserved it (9570)

On 01/14/2013 at 9:52pm - kids - by IvyLeague? - United States (New York)

Today, in an elaborate plan to finally meet my cute neighbor, I convinced my friendly mailman to switch up our mail so I'd have an excuse to meet her. After I delivered her mail, I waited for her to mention that she had my mail, but she never did. I even saw her take it out of her mail box. FML

#20446490
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11995) - you deserved it (34688)

On 01/07/2013 at 4:39pm - love - by james88 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my dad made a voodoo doll out of a melon. This seems to happen a lot. FML

#20449532
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22938) - you deserved it (2538)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Israel

Today, my vegan boyfriend told me that if he were forced to kill either his cat or me, he'd kill me because he "would never kill an animal." FML

#20458188
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36457) - you deserved it (6449)

On 01/13/2013 at 11:49pm - animals - by Abendigo77 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a girl I follow on Twitter tweeted, "Why can't I have a cute math tutor?" I'm her math tutor. FML

#20459715
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35089) - you deserved it (3743)

On 01/14/2013 at 9:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I learned who my dad's new fiancée is. Upon meeting her she exclaimed, "My, I haven't seen you in a while!" She's my ex-boyfriend's mom. FML

#20450908
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36317) - you deserved it (3012)

On 01/09/2013 at 10:15pm - love - by wtf dad - United States (Missouri)

Today, I have severe back pain that is only relieved by lying flat on my bed. I also have acid reflux that is only prevented by sitting straight up. FML

#20453200
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40127) - you deserved it (2670)

On 01/11/2013 at 3:03am - health - by Kftc88 - United States (California)

Today, one of my paintings was accepted into a local art gallery. It would've been a dream come true, had my "best friend" not submitted it under her own name and taken all the credit. FML

#20453750
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39424) - you deserved it (2767)

On 01/11/2013 at 2:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I realized I'm so lonely that I get comfort from hearing my neighbor snore through my apartment wall. FML

Today, while making dinner I cut my finger badly with a knife. When I yelled for my dad to drive me to the hospital, he accused me of lying to get attention. He had to taste my blood before he decided it wasn't red-colored corn syrup. FML

#20458321
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35593) - you deserved it (3104)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:52am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I finally felt ready to have sex for the first time, with my boyfriend of nearly 8 months. When I told him, things became intimate and pants came off. He then looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can't do this." The rest of the night was spent in awkward silence. FML

#20460703
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43864) - you deserved it (6016)

On 01/15/2013 at 12:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at work, a little girl came in and asked if we had any dance clothes. As I showed her, I asked if she was in a competition. When she said yes, I crossed my fingers and told her I hoped she would win. Unfortunately, I didn't cross them properly and I accidentally gave her the finger. FML

Today, I got genuinely annoyed at myself when I realised I probably lack the skills to survive a Zombie apocalypse. FML

#20449927
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12512) - you deserved it (30821)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by drake86 - United Kingdom (Argyll and Bute)



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