Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Tuesday 8 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after a long, horrible day at work and some fighting with my family and my girlfriend, I decided to cheer myself up by going to McDonald's for a change. I burst into tears when the cashier told me they couldn't make me a Mars McFlurry because they'd run out of ingredients. FML

#20460946
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38423) - you deserved it (8211)

On 01/15/2013 at 3:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I found a ring box in the pocket of my boyfriend's pants while doing laundry. I eagerly walked up to him knowing that it was an engagement ring, hoping that he would propose on the spot. He tossed it back to me and said, "Well you found it, I don't actually have to ask now, right?" FML

#20446658
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18719) - you deserved it (49025)

On 01/07/2013 at 7:21pm - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, as per usual, my mother went to see her psychic, who told her that one of her children is harbouring a "dark secret". Now we're all grounded until one of us confesses our obviously non-existent secret. FML

#20457387
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36982) - you deserved it (2473)

On 01/13/2013 at 4:02pm - misc - by daughter of a gullible cunt (woman) - Australia

Today, a girl I've been talking to online for a while asked me if I wanted to meet her in person. Two hours of driving later, I end up at her house. When she opened the door, she screamed and called the cops on me. While detained, she called my phone asking why I never showed up today. FML

#20450521
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40483) - you deserved it (6013)

On 01/09/2013 at 6:55pm - love - by GDBeast (man) - United States

Today, my vegan boyfriend told me that if he were forced to kill either his cat or me, he'd kill me because he "would never kill an animal." FML

#20458188
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36483) - you deserved it (6454)

On 01/13/2013 at 11:49pm - animals - by Abendigo77 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my wife brought my 5-year-old daughter to visit me at the office. My boss has a speech impediment, and when she heard it, she exclaimed, "Hey my daddy can sound just like you! Show him daddy! Show him!" FML

#20454855
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20681) - you deserved it (41658)

On 01/12/2013 at 3:14am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband and I found the perfect house, in our price range and everything we wanted in a house. However, the street it's on is called "Arbour Butte Road". My husband refuses to buy it because he doesn't want it to sound like he lives "in a tree's ass." I'm married to an idiot. FML

#20451265
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30536) - you deserved it (5829)

On 01/10/2013 at 12:53am - misc - by it's just a name (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the girl of my dreams asked me if I wanted to go biking with her. "Just the two of us," she said. I had to turn her down because I'm 17 years old and never learned how to ride a bike. FML

#20457168
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27272) - you deserved it (36481)

On 01/13/2013 at 1:25pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my dad learned that it's possible to power a lightbulb with a potato. Since then, he's been going around the house removing all the plugs from the wall and plugging them into potatoes instead. He's absolutely baffled as to why it won't work. FML

#20450090
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30083) - you deserved it (2546)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:23pm - misc - by Darkandcold - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, after a week of intense fighting, my girlfriend of 4 years and I hung out. She told me she loved me, and I pointed out that last week she said she was going to dump me. Without missing a beat, she replied, "Only to scare you into submission." FML

#20454746
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32539) - you deserved it (8210)

On 01/12/2013 at 1:32am - love - by thanksbabe - United States

Today, I was walking my dog when he decided that he was too lazy to continue walking. It ended up with me looking like a crazy dog lady carrying my medium-sized dog home. FML

#20448490
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28266) - you deserved it (4899)

On 01/08/2013 at 6:56pm - animals - by life// (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm too "high maintenance". And that's because I ask him to use condoms when we have sex, and I refuse to invite my friends over for threesomes. I don't know why I'm not actually glad we are broken up. FML

#20445835
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27258) - you deserved it (5317)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:35am - love - by kat124ever (woman) - United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East)

Today, I was yet again asked to show my hall pass. I'm 23 and work at a middle school. I've worked here for the last five months, so not only do I look 13 years old, I'm also not memorable enough for my own coworkers to recognize me. FML

#20454196
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37863) - you deserved it (2937)

On 01/11/2013 at 8:11pm - work - by Can'tAgeOrMakeFriends (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: