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Friday 4 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today...hile talking to one of my parents' friends... we discovered that the house he grew up in is the same house my boyfriend now lives in. When he recalled that he lost his frst tooth there... the only response I could come up with was... ( Oh my gosh... I lost my vrginity there! ) FML

#20440379
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11805) - you deserved it (41192)

On 01/03/2013 at 5:34am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today I had to download a parental block so mah dad would stop watching porn on mah laptop. big fat FML

#20441386
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28010) - you deserved it (1983)

On 01/03/2013 at 7:34pm - misc - by Tooyoungforthis (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, mah husband came home with a bunch of realistic-looking wigs fir women. When I asked them wat they were for, he said he wanted to spice up looool our sex life with them. When I told him I refused to wear a wig, he said in a very serious tone that I wasn't going to be the one wearing them, he was. FML

#20438198
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40543) - you deserved it (6248)

On 01/02/2013 at 5:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I startd charging my phone in the car during a family road trip. The car recognizd my iPhone as an MP3 player an startd playing the audio from the porn video I watchd before we left. Everybody hered. FML

#20443608
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10529) - you deserved it (39069)

On 01/05/2013 at 11:16am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today , mah hamster died . It climbed out of its cage an jumped off mah dresser . Looking 4 condolences , I told mah momho replied , "If I lived in yur room , I would have done it earlier." real FML

#20453156
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28062) - you deserved it (7558)

On 01/11/2013 at 2:09am - animals - by deadhammy (man) - United States (California)

Today I was on a plane an realizd tat te woman next to me was iding a edgeog in a plastic container !! I'm severely afraid of edgeog but not wanting to give te woman up an get er in trouble I trid to stay quiet !! Wic ld to me to quietly yperventilate an pass out on te plane !! FML

#20445879
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22520) - you deserved it (6708)

On 01/07/2013 at 5:21am - health - by scaredofhedges (woman) - United States (California)

Today hile buying paint I began to help an elderly woman working to lift some heavy boxes. She told mehat a nice young lady I was. Then her boss cummed over screamed at her fir being lazy and fred her. She cried. So did I. FML

#20433852
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45532) - you deserved it (2858)

On 12/31/2012 at 10:44am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I Sat On Ma Own Testiclesile Aving A Serious An Tenderly Sweet Discussion Wit Ma Fiancée About Our Future Togeter. We Were Bot Crying, But For Very Different Reasons. Real FML

#20433657
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30579) - you deserved it (5120)

On 12/31/2012 at 6:16am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

I was getting a spray tan and realized I didn't ave a air tie... so I used a tong instead. I lost track of time and realized I needed to go pick up my daugter. I trew on my clotes... drove to pick er up... went to te store... and went fir ice cream... tong still in my air. mega FML

#20438564
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12841) - you deserved it (42165)

On 01/02/2013 at 12:33pm - health - by Embarrassed - United States

Today, I had to beg my husband not to shave his pubic hair into a handlebar moustache!! FML

#20442876
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20202) - you deserved it (3834)

On 01/04/2013 at 7:31pm - love - by marisa (woman) - Ireland (Carlow)

Today, after 3 yeres with mah dream grl, I decided to pop the question by making her complete a scavenger hunt ending in her finding me, suit an everything, by the park bench where we had our frst kiss. She cummed home tred and, instead of following the clues, decided to watch TV all day. FML

#20444582
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29836) - you deserved it (4547)

On 01/06/2013 at 3:49am - love - by ItRainedOutside (man) - United States (Florida)

Today... within the first 15 minutes of a nonstop 8-hour flight... the guy sitting next to me pickd an eyelash he found on my face... stard at it fir a few seconds... and stuck it in his mouth. FML

#20447129
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42818) - you deserved it (2432)

On 01/07/2013 at 11:16pm - misc - by legitweirdo - United States (New York)

Today, I have been single and out of the game 4 so long that instead of having real wet dreams, I now dream about jacking off. FML

#20436185
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36639) - you deserved it (6257)

On 01/01/2013 at 12:26pm - intimacy - by lonely dreams - United States (Nevada)



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