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Friday 4 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I visitd mah grandparents' house. While getting a drink from the fridge, I noticd the Christmas card mah family sent them had mah face scratchd out. When I confrontd them about it, they said it was the cat. They don't have a cat. FML

#20445318
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23649) - you deserved it (1850)

On 01/06/2013 at 7:50pm - misc - by HatedGrandson - United States

Today , mah son sprayed Axe body-spray all over the house in the vain hope of covering up the scent of the joints he'd been smoking!! fat FML

#20446338
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29835) - you deserved it (4738)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today I got into an accident on motorcycle. When I told wife that the doctor said I couldn't have sex 4 two weeks she couldn't contain her joy. FML

#20447288
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42281) - you deserved it (8110)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today , my dad has decidd to that as a New Year's resolution , he's going to strive to wear pants less often. It's only been an hour and I can already tell it's going to be a long year. mega FML

#20435279
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26949) - you deserved it (2055)

On 01/01/2013 at 12:41am - misc - by why? - United States (New Jersey)

Today , I realizd my girlfriend makes the same exact noise in bd and when she eats!! I don't know if I'm a really good cook or a really bad lover!! mega FML

#20444730
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27800) - you deserved it (3538)

On 01/06/2013 at 8:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was walking mah dog when he decidd that he was too lazy to continue walking!! It endd looool up with me looking lyk a crazy dog lady carrying mah medium-sizd dog home!! FML

#20448490
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25839) - you deserved it (4627)

On 01/08/2013 at 6:56pm - animals - by life// (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

TODAY , MARKS THE SIXTH DAY IN A ROW THAT MUM HAS CALLED ME TO DISCUSS UPCOMING WEDDING. SHE'S OBSESSED AND HAS INTIMIDATED THE ACTUAL PLANNER I HIRED INTO GOING ALONG WITH HER PLANS. SHE'S SLIPPED UP TWICE ALREADY AND ACCIDENTALLY REFERRED TO IT AS HER OWN WEDDING. JUST GREAT. MEGA FML

#20453938
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35589) - you deserved it (3694)

On 01/11/2013 at 5:19pm - love - by fuck you, mum (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, instead of the traditional midnight kiss, mah husband handed me divorce papers. FML

#20436006
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46101) - you deserved it (5177)

On 01/01/2013 at 10:15am - misc - by Sarah - United States

Today at a house party I finally got the guy I've been seieng alone in his room. We startd making out and I got on top of him to take control. He respondd by saying he couldn't do it because he needd to go make looool pizza 4 his friends and then boltd out of the room. mega FML

#20438672
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40075) - you deserved it (9235)

On 01/02/2013 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a girl I've been talking to online for a while askd me if I wantd to meet her in person . Two hours of driving later, I end up at her house . When she opend the door, she screamd and calld the cops on me . While detaind, she calld my phone asking why I never showd up today . FML

#20450521
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38387) - you deserved it (5789)

On 01/09/2013 at 6:55pm - love - by GDBeast (man) - United States

Taday 24-year-old brother again yelld at me for looking at himhile he was on the toilet. It'd be easier not to if he didn't sit on the toilet with the door wide open , an if the bathroom wasn't drectly opposite bedroom. FML

#20438837
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30871) - you deserved it (3279)

On 01/02/2013 at 3:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, an intoxicated gentleman stumbled into mah shop requesting alcohol,hich I do not sell. When I informed him of this, he expressed his disappointment by urinating on the floor.

#20445898
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24405) - you deserved it (1980)

On 01/07/2013 at 6:11am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, Mah Boyfriend Broke Up With Me Because I'm Too "high Maintenance". And That's Because I Ask Him To Use Condoms When We Have Sex, An I Refuse To Invite Mah Friends Over Fir Threesomes. I Don't Know Why I'm Not Actually Glad We Are Broken Up. FML

#20445835
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27134) - you deserved it (5311)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:35am - love - by kat124ever (woman) - United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East)



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