Thursday 3 January 2013 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, I woke up after sleeping with my boyfriend for the first time. I rolled over and smiled at him, and the first thing he said was, "You farted. A lot." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22904) - you deserved it (4104)
On 01/07/2013 at 10:40am - love - by gassy - United States (Texas)
Today, I saw Les Misérables. I was singing along to one of the songs when the guy next to me dumped his soda over my head and told me to shut up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13290) - you deserved it (82240)
On 01/08/2013 at 12:34am - misc - by maddiecat - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was in the elevator, when a big bearded guy stepped in, wearing a dress. It's not an uncommon sight where I live, but my friend cracked up and asked him if he was wearing underwear. He took it as a challenge, and I can safely say that no, he was not. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26941) - you deserved it (4224)
On 01/10/2013 at 3:52pm - intimacy - by juvenile friends suck (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)
Today, I unknowingly used my shampoo thinking it was leave-in-conditioner. While walking to work, it started to rain. I started to produce suds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7554) - you deserved it (14065)
On 01/05/2013 at 10:59am - misc - by nomegusta (woman) - United States
Today, I caught my boyfriend wearing yoga pants and taking pictures of his butt to post on a "Girls in yoga pants" site. He saw my expression and said, "Nah, it's cool, I hid my junk so they'll think it's a chick!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (30246) - you deserved it (654)
On 01/10/2013 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Amy (woman) - United States
Today, my partner was inspired by 50 Shades Of Grey to try making me orgasm with a full bladder, therefore intensifying the experience. He was right, it was mind blowing. It also made me piss the bed for the first time in twenty-odd years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24833) - you deserved it (4788)
On 01/07/2013 at 8:01am - intimacy - by wetsheets (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)
Today, I took my grandma to what I thought was a nice movie. An actor used the word "cunt", which prompted her to ask what that word meant in a loud "whisper". She followed up even more loudly with, "Does that mean pussy?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25427) - you deserved it (3288)
On 01/08/2013 at 12:10pm - misc - by troll of a gran - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, my husband came home with a bunch of realistic-looking wigs for women. When I asked them what they were for, he said he wanted to spice up our sex life with them. When I told him I refused to wear a wig, he said in a very serious tone that I wasn't going to be the one wearing them, he was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32538) - you deserved it (5362)
On 01/02/2013 at 5:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I had to download a parental block so my dad would stop watching porn on my laptop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20576) - you deserved it (991)
On 01/03/2013 at 7:34pm - misc - by Tooyoungforthis (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I started charging my phone in the car during a family road trip. The car recognized my iPhone as an MP3 player and started playing the audio from the porn video I watched before we left. Everybody heard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8323) - you deserved it (26121)
On 01/05/2013 at 11:16am - misc - by anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend of four years broke up with me by writing on my bathroom mirror in Sharpie. What did he write? "Hi, I'm Emily. I'm fat, ugly, and now single." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42789) - you deserved it (2903)
On 01/03/2013 at 1:42am - love - by Emily (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, while talking to one of my parents' friends, we discovered that the house he grew up in is the same house my boyfriend now lives in. When he recalled that he lost his first tooth there, the only response I could come up with was, "Oh my gosh, I lost my virginity there!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (9353) - you deserved it (35036)
On 01/03/2013 at 5:34am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was cleaning one of my disabled clients because he pooped himself, so I started to undress him for a shower. I took his dirty diaper off and set it on his bed, then I bent over to take off his socks at which point he put the diaper on my head like a hat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43017) - you deserved it (3349)
On 01/02/2013 at 10:49am - work - by habassistant - United States (Ohio)
Monday 20 May 2013
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