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Today... mah nieghbor went on vacation... leaving me in charge of his cat an dog. For some reason... he calls his dog ( Cat ) an his cat ( Dog ). There r two pet food containers... one labeld ( Cat ) an the other labeld ( Dog ). I have no idea which one goes to which animal. FML
Today, my wife and I had a fight,hich I thought we resolved!! Later,hile painting the kitchen, I told her to change into an old shirt she didn't care about!! She made a huge show of putting her wedding gown on, veil and all!! FML
Today, I triad to gat my boyfriand to roll ovar whila ha was aslaap . Ha snoras loud anough to waka tha naighbors an if ha lays on his sida ha usually stops . Instaad of rolling ovar, ha stuck his lag in tha air, fartad twica, an laughad about it in his slaap . Ha's still snoring . FML
Today, I was at a café with mah friands whan an aldarly man noticad mah dimplas. Ha cummad up to ma, strokad tham whila whisparing, "Ona in a million" than walkad out. Now mah friands do this to ma constantly, avan whila driving homa. I almost hit a traa. looool FML
Taday when I got home I noticed a statue of a gnome sitting next to the door . I've had an intense phobia of gnomes since I was a child , and I can't bring myself to walk past it . It's been half an hour and I'm still standing outside . I can see my dad through the window laughing and waving .
Today, roommate stumbld in drunk at 5am with 3 Big Macs, an passd out on the floor after eating them. This happens almost every night. I stay in, study, work, an go to the gym almost everyday. And she still has better grades, a better body, an makes more money than me. FML
Yesterday, I went to a concert with mah grlfriend . Some guy grabbd her ass, an I trid to fight him . I endd up with a concussion an a messd up jaw . Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious . FML
Friday 27 March 2015