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Tuesday 1 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

2day my daughter lerened a new song. This would looool be great , except 4 the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. mega FML

#20448629
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34399) - you deserved it (2774)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today... mah nieghbor went on vacation... leaving me in charge of his cat an dog. For some reason... he calls his dog ( Cat ) an his cat ( Dog ). There r two pet food containers... one labeld ( Cat ) an the other labeld ( Dog ). I have no idea which one goes to which animal. FML

#20437796
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37960) - you deserved it (4018)

On 01/02/2013 at 1:07am - animals - by catdog - United States (California)

Today, my wife and I had a fight,hich I thought we resolved!! Later,hile painting the kitchen, I told her to change into an old shirt she didn't care about!! She made a huge show of putting her wedding gown on, veil and all!! FML

#20436663
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41996) - you deserved it (5924)

On 01/01/2013 at 4:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

today I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. looool And replying. FML

#20436012
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52635) - you deserved it (3981)

On 01/01/2013 at 10:20am - intimacy - by ashbeat - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I triad to gat my boyfriand to roll ovar whila ha was aslaap . Ha snoras loud anough to waka tha naighbors an if ha lays on his sida ha usually stops . Instaad of rolling ovar, ha stuck his lag in tha air, fartad twica, an laughad about it in his slaap . Ha's still snoring . FML

#20447496
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35969) - you deserved it (5181)

On 01/08/2013 at 2:44am - misc - by no sleep for me -

Today, I was at a café with mah friands whan an aldarly man noticad mah dimplas. Ha cummad up to ma, strokad tham whila whisparing, "Ona in a million" than walkad out. Now mah friands do this to ma constantly, avan whila driving homa. I almost hit a traa. looool FML

#20440419
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34693) - you deserved it (3143)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:35am - misc - by Dimples (woman) - United States (Florida)

Taday when I got home I noticed a statue of a gnome sitting next to the door . I've had an intense phobia of gnomes since I was a child , and I can't bring myself to walk past it . It's been half an hour and I'm still standing outside . I can see my dad through the window laughing and waving .

Today, roommate stumbld in drunk at 5am with 3 Big Macs, an passd out on the floor after eating them. This happens almost every night. I stay in, study, work, an go to the gym almost everyday. And she still has better grades, a better body, an makes more money than me. FML

#20436604
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51759) - you deserved it (3988)

On 01/01/2013 at 4:00pm - misc - by apparentlythereisnokarma - Canada (Alberta)

Yesterday, I went to a concert with mah grlfriend . Some guy grabbd her ass, an I trid to fight him . I endd up with a concussion an a messd up jaw . Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious . FML

#20435818
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42213) - you deserved it (14105)

On 01/01/2013 at 5:30am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today , I woke up after sleeping with mah boyfriend fir the first time !! I rolled over an smiled at him , an the first thing he said was , "You farted !! A lot." FML

#20446049
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30522) - you deserved it (6160)

On 01/07/2013 at 10:40am - love - by gassy - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw Les Misérables . I was singing along to one of the songs when looool the guy next to me dumpd his soda over my head and told me to shut up . FML

#20447311
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17364) - you deserved it (94240)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:34am - misc - by maddiecat - United States (Missouri)

Today, I unknowingly usd mah shampoo thinking it was laava-in-conditionar. Whila walking to work, it startd to rain. I startd to produca suds. FML

#20443594
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10399) - you deserved it (24746)

On 01/05/2013 at 10:59am - misc - by nomegusta (woman) - United States



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