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Tuesday 1 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got so drunk that I decided it was a good idea to get naked and jump on a trampoline in the back of a neighbour’s garden. Said neighbour is a police officer. FML

#20438400
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10302) - you deserved it (44827)

On 01/02/2013 at 10:01am - misc - by AmberHavoc - United Kingdom

Today, my friend and I were trying out a site on which you talk to strangers using a mic and webcam. We came across a cute guy, who said to my friend, "Tell the fat guy to move." He was referring to me. I'm a girl. FML

Today, my boyfriend took me to his house and introduced me to his parents. He also showed me around his bedroom. I think he forgot to remove the dartboard on his wall, taped to which was a swiss-cheesed printout of one of my Facebook photos. FML

#20434714
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34822) - you deserved it (3769)

On 12/31/2012 at 7:55pm - love - by WasZumTeufel? (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I was at a restaurant with my boyfriend. He wound up drinking a whole bottle of wine, and when the bill came he drunkenly yelled at the waiter, claiming it should be free, because he's in the military "fighting for your freedom". He's a mechanic in the National Guard. FML

#20443881
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26075) - you deserved it (4067)

On 01/05/2013 at 4:56pm - love - by so embarrassed (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I bought myself a pair of beautiful, hand-crafted earrings with lighthouses on them. My mother was quick to point out the lighthouses look like dicks. I don't think I can ever wear them again. FML

Today, after I finally laid down from a long day and was about to fall asleep, I realized I forgot to set my alarm. I don't own an alarm clock and my alarm is on my phone. Which was in my car. I live on 15th floor of an apartment building and our parking garage is across the street. FML

#20439908
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35235) - you deserved it (9591)

On 01/03/2013 at 12:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, an intoxicated gentleman stumbled into my shop requesting alcohol, which I do not sell. When I informed him of this, he expressed his disappointment by urinating on the floor. FML

#20445898
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26605) - you deserved it (2137)

On 01/07/2013 at 6:11am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boss put me on suspension, a week after granting a subordinate time off to recover from surgery. When I signed the paperwork, I was too embarrassed to admit I didn't understand her writing, which apparently said she was getting treated for "dangerously low levels of dick". FML

#20434482
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10590) - you deserved it (23684)

On 12/31/2012 at 5:42pm - work - by offtothejobcentre (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, in an elaborate plan to finally meet my cute neighbor, I convinced my friendly mailman to switch up our mail so I'd have an excuse to meet her. After I delivered her mail, I waited for her to mention that she had my mail, but she never did. I even saw her take it out of her mail box. FML

#20446490
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12671) - you deserved it (36012)

On 01/07/2013 at 4:39pm - love - by james88 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I came out to my parents. They laughed in my face. FML

#20445704
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29686) - you deserved it (6405)

On 01/07/2013 at 1:09am - misc - by areyoukiddingme (woman) - United States

Today, my fiancé decided he wants a baby only because our dog is good, quiet, and falls asleep as soon as he starts to cradle her. He thinks a baby will be just like that. FML

#20445378
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25662) - you deserved it (2632)

On 01/06/2013 at 8:49pm - animals - by Twiggysucks68 (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my workplace was having a raffle and was giving away a Venus shaving kit. A co-worker won, but instead of keeping it, she walked over and handed the basket to me in front of everyone, said "You need it more" and walked away. FML

#20433619
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33254) - you deserved it (6313)

On 12/31/2012 at 5:17am - work - by shaving kit (woman) -

Today, I got fired from my job because I "look too grumpy." FML

#20437963
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31870) - you deserved it (9909)

On 01/02/2013 at 2:28am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



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