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Sunday 23 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML

#20417691
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55740) - you deserved it (9892)

On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)

Today... my 14-year-old daugter cummd ome after sneaking out and partying. Se was totally drunk... and startd crying on my soulder because some boy namd "Tomas" as a small dick... and se ad to fake an orgasm. fat FML

#20419819
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82307) - you deserved it (25295)

On 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by valnaj1 (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today in tha middla of tha night I got up to go gat soma watar !! Whan I cummad back I was going to flop onto mah bad but I facaplantad into mah floor !! I'd forgottan that I'd raarrangad mah room an movad mah bad !! FML

#20406748
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33290) - you deserved it (19110)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by ayye_its_nikki - United States (Texas)

Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, ( Here's yur son, yur AA meeting's in an hour, let's go. ) FML

#20423578
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50360) - you deserved it (4747)

On 12/26/2012 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

yesterday as her parents were supposd to be out of town, I stayd over with mah grlfriend, and we endd up in bd together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I hered footsteps, so I said, ( Didn't think you'd be walking after that. ) I closd the fridge and saw her dad. FML

#20418714
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45955) - you deserved it (25224)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today... mah boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny... and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid mah panting... I breathed the words... "Fuck me." He then stopped and said... "Excuse me... I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. mega FML

#20418295
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50726) - you deserved it (10606)

On 12/24/2012 at 8:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Yesterday , I took child to the park. Having been there an hour , another mum came up to me and we started talking. She then told me that one kid had been harassing her children , pointing to child. When she asked which one was mine I pointed to a random kid. It was hers. FML

#20415890
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16984) - you deserved it (47574)

On 12/23/2012 at 10:02am - kids - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, Bacausa My Boyfriand Drivas A 2-saatad Sports Car, I Had To Awkwardly Sit On His Brothar's Lap As Wa Drova To Tha Stora . I Soon Falt A Poking Sansation Through His Pants, Just A Faw Minutas Bafora Wa Hit A Bumpy Road . Maga FML

#20414298
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48899) - you deserved it (6186)

On 12/22/2012 at 5:55pm - intimacy - by orgasmicriding (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, a woman at work was complaining about her weight. She looked pretty thin, so to make her feel better, I said that she looked small. She said "Well, you haven't seen me naked." For some reason, I replied, "Not that you know of." FML

#20417936
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15213) - you deserved it (35130)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:37am - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was hit in the head by a golf ball!! I wasn't near a golf course, and nobody was anywhere in sight!! I'm still trying to figure out what happened!! FML

#20403784
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37574) - you deserved it (3563)

On 12/17/2012 at 2:38pm - health - by wtf - United States

Today, a friend informed me that my dog's name means "penis" in Greek. I live in a predominantly Greek neighbourhood, and apparently I've been screaming for "dong" every evening for the past 3 years. No wonder they don't talk to me much. mega FML

#20405418
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30169) - you deserved it (8608)

On 12/18/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by Dog_Lover (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today , someone paintd the "Dark Mark" on the side of mah car. It won't come off and mah kids refuse to get in because it means "a wizard did in there." FML

#20407286
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34816) - you deserved it (3792)

On 12/19/2012 at 9:59am - kids - by spellbound - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, after saring ma frst nigt in bed wit ma boyfriend, I woke up early, an decided to rouse im wit some surprise oral!! It didn't go so well; e woke up screaming an gasped, "OH MY GOD! I tougt u were ma cat!" before telling me to continue!! FML

#20412240
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43831) - you deserved it (8418)

On 12/21/2012 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by anonymaiacciu (woman) - France



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