Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Friday 21 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I accidentally knocked over a mall Santa on his way to meet some children. I've never had that many hate-filled eyes on me at once. FML

#20404919
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26506) - you deserved it (5734)

On 12/18/2012 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today I Hid My Weed Stash In A Bag From An Expensive Jewellery Store. My Sister Walked Into My Room Went "Ooh Hat's This?" An Grabbed The Bag. I Grabbed It Back An Ad-libbed That It Was Her Christmas Gift. Now I Actually Have To Buy Her Expensive Jewellery. FML

#20405613
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10962) - you deserved it (57967)

On 12/18/2012 at 1:28pm - misc - by junkie (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today , I was in the mall fir the second day in a row with my 7-year-old brother. As we walkd past Santa he askd me , ( Why does Santa look different today )? Not thinking , I said , ( Because each mall has a different Santa. ) FML

#20405502
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13051) - you deserved it (32912)

On 12/18/2012 at 11:50am - kids - by I said whaat -

Today..!! I was at Walmart when I saw mah grandpa in the next aisle looking at magazines!! Wanting to surprise him..!! I ran up behind him and hugged him around the middle!! Up close..!! I realized he wasn't mah grandpa!! mega FML

#20420733
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15391) - you deserved it (26512)

On 12/25/2012 at 6:17am - misc - by Oops (woman) - United States (Maine)

yesterday I had a look through mah dad's grlfriend's phone she left on the table. Best part: I now know wat I'm getting 4 christmas. Worst part: I now know mah dad's favourite position. FML

#20413212
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14297) - you deserved it (69950)

On 12/22/2012 at 6:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia

Today , I sent a cute , jokey text to girlfriend saying , "Just in case te world ends , I love you." Not only did se dump me because I was an "idiot 4 believing in te doomsday" , wic I don't , se also wrote a Facebook status about it . Now everyone tinks I'm mentally unstable . FML

#20409563
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36597) - you deserved it (6613)

On 12/20/2012 at 7:37pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Vestfold)

Today ouse was broken into. Te cop tat cummed turned out to be a guy I fougt over a grl wit in ig scool. He sneered and said tat everyting appereed to be in order and tat I probably ransacked own ouse. FML

#20408586
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36855) - you deserved it (8634)

On 12/20/2012 at 6:19am - misc - by doblex (man) - United States

Today , I caught mah dog chewing on a tampon applicator. I tried to grab it from him , but he wanted to play "keep away" and ran outside. Like a dumbass , I chased after him in mah underwear , earning myself the attention of mah neighbors on each side of mah driveway.

#20408937
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10251) - you deserved it (28426)

On 12/20/2012 at 1:17pm - misc - by ScoozieBooze (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today , I walked in on my sister plucking her nipples. A shame I didn't get a big fuck-off bottle of brain bleach for Christmas. FML

#20422121
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30217) - you deserved it (7829)

On 12/25/2012 at 8:49pm - intimacy - by FuckMyEyes (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today , my nieghbor installed a large radio that loudly plays Christmas music 24/7. When I called in a complaint to the police department they told me to , ( get in the Christmas spirit. ) mega FML

#20404496
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29777) - you deserved it (10182)

On 12/17/2012 at 9:28pm - misc - by James (man) - United States

Yesterday, mah mother-in-law purchased matching Christmas presents fir myself an mah sister-in-law to open together in front of everyone. Guess who r now the proud owners of matching metal tampon cases. mega FML

#20423057
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30176) - you deserved it (2374)

On 12/26/2012 at 3:53am - misc - by Shelle (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today... I got a phona call from mah boyfriand braaking things off with ma. Ha waitad until tha day aftar Christmas cuz ha wantad all his prasants. And ha got ma nothing. fat FML

#20423285
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44273) - you deserved it (3449)

On 12/26/2012 at 9:32am - love - by Jolene - United States (Massachusetts)

2day I was woken up by my dog scratching at my door. After ahile of this , I finally got up to let her in. looool When I opened the door , she looked at me , threw up , and scurried away. FML

#20409045
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25516) - you deserved it (9275)

On 12/20/2012 at 2:50pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Spain (Canarias)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: