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Friday 21 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I accidentally knocked over a mall Santa on his way to meet some children. I've never had that many hate-filled eyes on me at once. FML

#20404919
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25499) - you deserved it (5588)

On 12/18/2012 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I hid my weed stash in a bag from an expensive jewellery store. My sister walked into my room, went "Ooh, what's this?" and grabbed the bag. I grabbed it back and ad-libbed that it was her Christmas gift. Now I actually have to buy her expensive jewellery. FML

#20405613
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10900) - you deserved it (57685)

On 12/18/2012 at 1:28pm - misc - by junkie (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, I was in the mall for the second day in a row with my 7-year-old brother. As we walked past Santa he asked me, "Why does Santa look different today"? Not thinking, I said, "Because each mall has a different Santa." FML

#20405502
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12491) - you deserved it (31989)

On 12/18/2012 at 11:50am - kids - by I said whaat -

Today, I was at Walmart when I saw my grandpa in the next aisle looking at magazines. Wanting to surprise him, I ran up behind him and hugged him around the middle. Up close, I realized he wasn't my grandpa. FML

#20420733
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15334) - you deserved it (26411)

On 12/25/2012 at 6:17am - misc - by Oops (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I had a look through my dad's girlfriend's phone she left on the table. Best part: I now know what I'm getting for christmas. Worst part: I now know my dad's favourite position. FML

#20413212
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14234) - you deserved it (69724)

On 12/22/2012 at 6:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I sent a cute, jokey text to my girlfriend saying, "Just in case the world ends, I love you." Not only did she dump me because I was an "idiot for believing in the doomsday", which I don't, she also wrote a Facebook status about it. Now everyone thinks I'm mentally unstable. FML

#20409563
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35234) - you deserved it (6451)

On 12/20/2012 at 7:37pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Vestfold)

Today, my house was broken into. The cop that came turned out to be a guy I fought over a girl with in high school. He sneered and said that everything appeared to be in order, and that I probably ransacked my own house. FML

#20408586
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35540) - you deserved it (8492)

On 12/20/2012 at 6:19am - misc - by doblex (man) - United States

Today, I caught my dog chewing on a tampon applicator. I tried to grab it from him, but he wanted to play "keep away" and ran outside. Like a dumbass, I chased after him in my underwear, earning myself the attention of my neighbors on each side of my driveway. FML

#20408937
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10196) - you deserved it (28282)

On 12/20/2012 at 1:17pm - misc - by ScoozieBooze (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I walked in on my sister plucking her nipples. A shame I didn't get a big fuck-off bottle of brain bleach for Christmas. FML

#20422121
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28403) - you deserved it (7607)

On 12/25/2012 at 8:49pm - intimacy - by FuckMyEyes (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my neighbor installed a large radio that loudly plays Christmas music 24/7. When I called in a complaint to the police department they told me to, "get in the Christmas spirit." FML

#20404496
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29618) - you deserved it (10157)

On 12/17/2012 at 9:28pm - misc - by James (man) - United States

Today, my mother-in-law purchased matching Christmas presents for myself and my sister-in-law to open together in front of everyone. Guess who are now the proud owners of matching metal tampon cases. FML

#20423057
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30007) - you deserved it (2364)

On 12/26/2012 at 3:53am - misc - by Shelle (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got a phone call from my boyfriend breaking things off with me. He waited until the day after Christmas because he wanted all his presents. And he got me nothing. FML

#20423285
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44080) - you deserved it (3436)

On 12/26/2012 at 9:32am - love - by Jolene - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was woken up by my dog scratching at my door. After a while of this, I finally got up to let her in. When I opened the door, she looked at me, threw up, and scurried away. FML

#20409045
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24201) - you deserved it (9130)

On 12/20/2012 at 2:50pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Spain (Canarias)



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