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Tuesday 18 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mother has stooped to a new level of "hiding" Christmas gifts. She now just dumps them in the middle of the floor and says, "Don't look at them." If she even thinks I'm glancing in the direction of the pile, she will burst into a manic rage, and yell at me for "ruining the surprise." FML

#20408692
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26972) - you deserved it (7291)

On 12/20/2012 at 8:57am - misc - by Mandy93 (woman) - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, I confronted my 18-year-old daughter about her excessively lengthy showers. She said she didn't see the big deal, considering the water "comes free with the house." No dear, it doesn't. FML

#20414355
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35102) - you deserved it (5542)

On 12/22/2012 at 6:29pm - kids - by Jane (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friend and I decided to go skinny-dipping in her pool just after we'd finished watching a scary movie. While we were in the pool, I heard something move in the bushes so I freaked out and ran onto the deck, slipping and falling flat on my back. Her dad saw the whole thing. FML

#20407433
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13025) - you deserved it (32697)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my psycho grandma yelled at me for being an "immature brat" by not offering to wash the dishes after dinner. I reminded her that when I offered last time, she raged at me for being "condescending". She responded by faking a heart attack and getting me indefinitely grounded. FML

#20421624
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33676) - you deserved it (2602)

On 12/25/2012 at 3:59pm - misc - by really mature, GRAN (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to explain to my fiancé that having me watch him jerk off over a porno is not in fact considered foreplay. FML

#20409320
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40391) - you deserved it (10981)

On 12/20/2012 at 5:45pm - intimacy - by alicia (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I noticed one of my neighbors has decided to place an old toilet in the middle of their front lawn. Another one has had a kitchen sink in their driveway for a year, and yet another has a sofa in their grass. These are the people who taunt me for just walking my cat outside on a leash. FML

Today, it's my wedding anniversary; my husband forgot. My daughter gave me two beautiful long stem roses and said she would look after her sister while we went out to celebrate. My daughter is more romantic and thoughtful than my own husband. FML

#20410075
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36000) - you deserved it (3425)

On 12/20/2012 at 10:31pm - love - by igiveup (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my fiancé called off our engagement after I contested his belief that women stop having periods after they are married. FML

#20404199
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32728) - you deserved it (3734)

On 12/17/2012 at 7:29pm - love - by kidyounot (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I woke up to find our Christmas tree knocked over, unwrapped presents scattered everywhere, and my mom passed out on the sofa with a bottle of booze. Merry Christmas. FML

#20419854
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36848) - you deserved it (2418)

On 12/24/2012 at 10:20pm - misc - by Julie (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at my job as a cashier when a man called me his "Grocery Slave." I was almost offended, but then I thought about my salary. I am a Grocery Slave. FML

Today, I woke up on my boyfriend's bedroom floor. When I asked him why I was there, he said I'd gotten too hot, so he rolled me off his bed. I have the flu and a fever. FML

#20422616
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33049) - you deserved it (3251)

On 12/25/2012 at 11:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I brought my 6-year-old to the mall to sit on Santa's lap. She told him what she wanted and smiled for the picture. When the lady told her that her turn was over, she began throwing a fit, pulling off Santa's beard in the process. This caused all the kids in line to begin sobbing. FML

#20403366
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27792) - you deserved it (6067)

On 12/17/2012 at 6:37am - kids - by unknown - Canada

Today, I sold some weights that were way too heavy for me on Craigslist. I felt okay with not being able to lift them when I saw the other man, who was a pretty buff dude; that is until of course he informed me he was buying them for his wife. FML

#20407956
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26217) - you deserved it (7767)

On 12/19/2012 at 6:33pm - misc - by Johnny (man) - United States (Tennessee)



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