Sunday 16 December 2012 
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Today, at the gas station, the automatic door didn't open when I approached it. I asked the cashier to open it for me, joking that because I'm a redhead, I didn't have a soul and it wouldn't open for me. The cashier freaked and wouldn't let me go until I proved I had a soul. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18812) - you deserved it (3642)
On 12/11/2012 at 1:07am - misc - by Devil (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I saw my crush at the grocery store. He saw me and started walking towards me. I got so excited that I farted when he came near. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28601) - you deserved it (8160)
On 12/16/2012 at 7:58pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my drunk girlfriend maxed out my credit card, on an "authentic" Jesus Christ autograph on eBay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21997) - you deserved it (3549)
On 12/12/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by maxedoutidiot - United States
Today, someone painted the "Dark Mark" on the side of my car. It won't come off and my kids refuse to get in because it means "a wizard died in there." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27575) - you deserved it (3155)
On 12/19/2012 at 9:59am - kids - by spellbound - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30942) - you deserved it (5387)
On 12/21/2012 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by anonymaiacciu (woman) - France
Today, I played a game of Monopoly with my friends. Since I'm of Greek origin, they thought it would be funny to make me start with a €100,000 debt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20547) - you deserved it (3704) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 12/13/2012 at 9:25pm - money - by Money-money-money (woman) - France
Today, my boyfriend grabbed my boob, shook it savagely, and shouted "Earthquake!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25394) - you deserved it (6397)
On 12/17/2012 at 6:12pm - misc - by Ape (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told me what it was; a molded dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parents when they ask what I got. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27559) - you deserved it (9442)
On 12/20/2012 at 12:30am - intimacy - by djl (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my daughter had the words "Always classy, never trashy" tattooed across her lower back in crappy cursive lettering. She doesn't understand the irony. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23557) - you deserved it (2130)
On 12/15/2012 at 3:08am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I have a very uncomfortable cyst in my armpit and a sprained ankle both on my right side, resulting in me limping and keeping my arm awkwardly plastered to my side. My fiancé keeps walking like me and calling me Igor, saying "Yes, Master" whenever I ask him for something. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23888) - you deserved it (2652)
On 12/19/2012 at 12:16am - health - by Igor (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I came home to find my husband and our 4-year-old son simultaneously peeing off the second-floor balcony. My husband was giggling like a little girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24937) - you deserved it (4514)
On 12/17/2012 at 11:21am - kids - by Bonding_boys (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I walked in on my son and his friend comparing their penis sizes. They're 6. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29506) - you deserved it (3692)
On 12/23/2012 at 1:02am - misc - by oh my son - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my dog did something I had no idea he could do. He participated in an all-male three-way at the dog park. In front of everyone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15575) - you deserved it (1483)
On 12/10/2012 at 7:04pm - animals - by MoreActionThanMe - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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