Choose the period

Thursday 13 December 2012

Choose a category

Agreed
Commented
Favorited

Today, I saw a photo on Instagram of my friend flipping the camera the bird. She'd tagged it under "irony", so I jokingly suggested that she borrow a dictionary. She responded with a tirade of abuse, claimed to be sleeping with my boyfriend, and blocked me an hour later. FML

by Anonymous / 12/13/2012 at 7:51pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a date. He stole my credit card. FML

Today, my "friends" set me up on a blind date with a guy who according to their description, sounded perfect in just about every way. He turned out to be my obsessive ex, and this is their idea of a funny prank. FML

by lovelychris / 12/16/2012 at 2:15pm / Brazil (Sao Paulo) / Love

Today, I accidentally left my textbook at home. Normally this wouldn't be an issue, but today was my class final. Since it was an open-book final, I'd decided not to study for it. I'm pretty sure I failed. FML

by dumbassgrad / 12/12/2012 at 2:14pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to treat myself to a pedicure. The pedicurist began examining my feet, then called his coworkers over to demonstrate how to deal with "excessively crusty" feet. FML

by Crusty / 12/19/2012 at 3:53pm / Health

Today, I went on a cruise. I gave my bags to a porter, and tipped him $5. Later that night, my bags still hadn't arrived at my room, and that's when I realized that I'd paid a fake porter to steal my bags. FML

by McFizzy321 / 12/12/2012 at 10:43pm / United States (Florida) / Holidays

Today, I saw a man in an army uniform. As a bit of a patriot, I went up to thank him for his service. After about 10 minutes of me going on and on, he started laughing. He wasn't a soldier. FML

by Anonymous / 12/18/2012 at 2:48am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I took a bath because I couldn't get my left arm wet due to a minor medical procedure. My roommates decided to barge in to the bathroom and ruthlessly pelt me with flour. Not only did I find out flour burns the eyes, but the shock caused me to slip and submerge my arm. FML

by antiqued / 12/20/2012 at 12:55am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I saw my daughter dusting her furniture with the white handkerchief I gave her as a wedding present. It's been in our family for 4 generations. FML

by teejayrn / 12/18/2012 at 5:03am / Kids

Today, while doing our Christmas shopping, my sister showed me a product that she really hated. The same one I bought her for Christmas. FML

by bob / 12/17/2012 at 1:16pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Money

Today, I'm insanely hungover from a long night of drinking. I'm going to my nephew's baptism in an hour as his godmother. FML

by Anonymous / 12/16/2012 at 12:26pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I was pulled over and administered a sobriety test due to an officer's suspicion that I was driving under the influence. I was completely sober, and, apparently, I suck at driving. FML

by Anonymous / 12/16/2012 at 2:27am / United States / Transportation

Today, I took a relaxing bath, but got the book I was reading slightly wet when getting out. I put it on top of the towel dryer after delicately shaking it. Five minutes later, I heard a splash; I went into the bathroom to find that my book had toppled into the toilet bowl. FML

by LemmyIsWet / 12/17/2012 at 2:33am / United States / Miscellaneous